Last week’s match reports are below. Sorry for the tardiness. Some good starts and some poor starts – a long season ahead guys and girls. Spare a thought for the ladies 4th league side who lost by 1 measly point – just shows you that its worth fighting for every point.



Francesco,-Won 3-0 

Ian lost 2-3 

Tagara,-lost 0-3

Phil lost 0-3


Overall result: Lost 5 - 12

3rd  LEAGUE A vs Southern Suburbs

3rd A vs Suburbs
First match was a home match against Suburbs. Andrew had an important arrangement so organized an early start for his game. Suburbs brought a sample to play him – Kyle Neumann. When I got there Andrew was one down. He was struggling from behind in the 2nd too. Andrew got a big lead in the third though but couldn’t hold it and ended up losing 3-0.

Gary on next against Lee Neilson. Lee was quick, retrieved well and also had a very unorthodox style (bloody tennis player). Gary started slow, lost the first but took command of the 2nd which he won comfortably. Gary was well up in the 3rd too but lost concentration after a bad call and was level before he knew it. He lost that and the next game.

Vevek played Richard Bothwell next. What should have been a walk in the park turned out to be a struggle and Vevek lost the first, narrowly won the 2nd and won the 3rd. In the 4th Vevek was 14-7 up and Richard caught up to 13-14 before Vevek managed to finish the match.

Richard played last against Kriton Maratheftis. He needed to win 3-0 for a points count, unfortunately no one told him that. Richard dominated in the first and I thought it was in the bag. Richard was well up in the 2nd but let Kriton back in who caught up and won that game. Richard dominated the next 2 to have a comfortable win.

But we lost by 1 game.

Gary: 1-3
Andrew: 0-3
Vevek: 3-1
Richard: 3-1

Overall :  Lost 7 - 10

3rd LEAGUE B  vs Alberton

The team got off to a slow start – away to Alberton (Mike Wade, Kelvin ?, Gary Capple, Gavin Scott)
A trip to the deep south east

No 2 Jeff vs Kelvin? (a chubby youngster) first match
Jeff up in the first, down in the 2nd and 3rd, level after 4, up 11 – 8 in the 5th, down to 14 – 11 and finally down 15 – 13 in the 5th
Down 2 – 3

No 1 Ryan starts on a 2nd court vs Mike Wade
Mike still has all the shots and takes the 1st, Ryan fights back in the 2nd to level matters, Mike takes no further prisoners to win 3 – 1
A good fight to the end by Ryan – lots of power, only a few tins – a good showing
Down 1 - 3

No 3 Heinrich vs Gary Capple (with an 18 B as a marker)
Gary took the first, but Heinrich came out strong in the 2nd and even stronger in the 3rd – Gary was looking a bit tired but managed to level it in the 4th and then took the 5th
The wirily old man (Gary) forced a few loose shots and un-forced errors from the youngster – a great game and well contested
Down 3 – 2

No 4 Bruce on last against Gavin (another toppie) – Gavin as a junior played Geoff Hunt and Jansher Khan in the late 70’s early 80’s and then in 1984 gave up squash for 30 years – making a comeback in 2014 (30 year sabbatical)
Gavin took the first, Bruce came back in the 2nd but tins and errors eventually let Bruce down
A great speed vs craftmanship display
Down 1 – 3

Final result – chamber 6, Alberton 16

Great food prepared by Mike Wade’s wife and a few beers and the night was over – despite the loss a very pleasant night with great sportsmanship and comradely

Overall result Lost 6 - 16

4th LEAGUE A  vs Chamber B

After receiving the rallying call from our Wordmaster-in-Chief, Gary D (thanks Gary, for another motivational masterpiece – the Nobel literary committee has to take note soon), the 4th B side sharpened their proverbial swords and rattled their proverbial armour en route to our first fixture of the season. Only to find that this was a derby game and our opposition was none other than the diminutive 4th A side – who happened to have received the exact same call to rally… So it remained to be seen whether we could follow tradition and put the “A” side to shame. As it transpired, both teams struggled to field 4 players with sickness, injury, vacation and Argus training combining to thin the ranks. So the fixture actually took place across 3 evenings as and when able bodies could be matched up.

·         First up (Monday night) Nigel vs Gavin G: Not the prettiest of squash matches with many loose shots and some incorrect shot selection. But a high paced affair that saw things evenly balanced at 1-1 before Nigel drew first blood for the “B” team by taking the next 2 comfortably. Won 3-1. 

·         Next (Tuesday night) was Fergus vs Duncan: Fergus was a whirlwind which blew the first game and most of the second to be one game and 14-8 up. Here Duncan had a transformation and played some incredible shots to win 7 points on the trot and even things up at a game apiece (all you needed was one nick, Fergus…). The next two games were fairly even, both players killing the ball given any width at all and the honours were shared to bring it to 2-2. In the final game Duncan drew ahead and Fergus could justnot reel him in although he stayed within a whisker to the end. Lost 2-3.

·         Then Phil vs Mark: As would be expected, a hard game between two players who are adept at moving about the court and chasing to the end. Phil’s execution was better on the night, although Mark’s never-say-die attitude kept the scoreline in check and put Phil under pressure to finish things off when given the opportunity. He did just that, albeit with some nervous moments. Won 3-0.

·         Pending…

So, with a match to spare, the derby curse has been proven. Bragging rights to the inimitable “B” side for the first half of the season.

Having finished in record time, we retired to Del Fornos for the post-match ribbing session. While not partaking of their solid fare myself, the comments from other parties were favourable (and their beers were cold). So it does provide a viable alternative if you finish in time to catch their doors still open.

Overall result: Won (exact result yet to be determined)


4th LEAGUE B  vs Chamber 

As above

Overall result:  Lost


5th LEAGUE 04  vs Wanderers

Wanderers and Chamber 6B finished 1st and 2nd last year and were both promoted to 5th league and have come face-to-face in the opening match of the season. This felt a bit like the curtain raiser to the main events that are still to come…because we do not know the standard that we will need to raise our game to in order to remain competitive at this level! Time will tell.

Silver arranged for an early start and was already done & dusted when I arrived. His greeting to me was “No – this league is too tough for me!” which made my heart sink at the thought of what lay ahead. Silver beamed his beamish grin and confessed his lie and told me that Tony pretty much gave up in the 4th! Silver clinched a decent win to get the season started for his Fabulous Fifths team. As punishment for not witnessing his momentous win, Captain Shannon informed me that I would be scriborizing the match report. Yes - Scriborizing is a new word invented by John and we dare not challenge Chairman our Chairman. (Won 3-1)

Kobus had a mixed start in his encounter with Pieter as dominance swung this way and that and he managed to squeak the 1st but he had inconsistent form throughout with the occasional loose shot and one too many drops at the wrong times and Pieter capitalized on the mistakes. Kobus fought well and earned a valuable 2 points but just couldn’t see his way to the finish post. Kobus also seems to be trying to play his way through a back injury and should maybe just man-up and seek medical assistance – going to a physio doesn’t make you a moffie boerseun!!! (Lost 2-3)

Darren vs. Francois proved to be the entertainment for the evening where “Tidy-Up” Tiddy was doing just that. He played some level headed and considered squash with some of the most sublime - yes “sublime” is the word – drop shots that I have seen. He was pretty much on-top of everything that Francois could throw at him and even managed a Shannon-esk style lob which died on landing. Darren is showing great promise and let’s hope he can resume his growing form once he returns from his immanent marriage and trek through the Western Cape with his spouse-to-be!? (Official MVP title -Won 3-0)

Finally, the game that EVERYONE in the entire world knew he would lose. Nick Papa vs. “The Wanderers best league player recipient of 2016” – Ron van der Bos. Slow to start, Nick was wayward in the 1st but managed to find better lines in the 2nd and 3rd and put the screws on Ron especially the low cross-court drives. The 4th was a tightly fought affair but “great vengeance and furious anger” couldn’t see Nick through. The scene was set for the day that Nick proved the world wrong – but today was not going to be that day. Ron lived up to the title he earned and with the biggest smile on his face, closed out the match. (Lost 2-3)

Under pain of death I was told that Nick and Kobus were to be nominated for MVP due to winning two games in matches that they were ordained to lose. I guess I can’t argue with that or I might be the Wop that gets beaten up by a Boer and a Greek. Anyway, as I said in the motivational charge, if you are gonna lose, then best you lose 2-3 so that you give your team a chance and it was these points that gave us our win. MVP 2nd class to Nick and Kobus.

As always, a very pleasant braai and beer was had on the balcony at Wanderers, hosted by our friendly and hospitable opposition.

Overall result: Won 12- 7

6th LEAGUE vs. ?????

This was a debacle of note – not entirely of the teams making. Tseko was appointed captain of the team and was relishing his task. Unfortunately Tseko didn’t realise that his team was CE07 and not CE06 and sent his team to the 5th lge Wanderers team. Now we can forgive a newcomer to league for making this mistake but what about the other 7 members of the team most of whom have played league for many years!!!!!!!!!

So a quick look on the web-site seemed to suggest that they were meant to play Northcliff and off they all went to Northcliff to find that Northcliff were in fact playing another club!!!!!!!!!!

At this point the team decided to give up and bond amongst themselves at NCC.

On further investigation the next day it transpired that in fact the 6th lge schedules were a total mess-up and that neither Chamber or Bryanston had a match scheduled for that night. The entire schedule had to be redone. Am not sure why nobody at Bryanston picked this up either.

Overall result: to be played 


7th LEAGUE vs Jeppe

Half of Jeppe arrived late as usual but things are improving, their captain let us know the day before!

Anthony, dad to be in September, played Bruce McBride at #1. 1 to Bruce, easy (5). 1 to Anthony (11). 2 to Bruce (13). 3 to Bruce who had to fight as Anthony came back strongly despite a serious hot headache, losing 16-14 with a tinned drop.

Stand-in captain whispering George played Sean at #3. Sean did not know what hit him and spent much of the match working out how George could hit a double handed backhand (DHB) so effectively. His teammates also wonder! 1 to George (16-14) followed by a massive, noisy fist pump from the winner. 2 to George, easier (9). The next was tight affair with Sean having a game point but George skilfully wielded his secret DHB and won 16-14. Chamber in front 4 games to 3, looking good.

Mike played Clifford at #4. Exactly the same result and performance as last year’s home match. Quote last year’s report. “Mike won the first, got cocky and lost the second, found his focus, won the third and cruised home in the fourth as Cliff faded badly. Up 3-1.” Good to see Mike is not getting worse and I guess it is too late for him to get better! An interesting reflexion was made during the match. Mike was about 750mm away from the front wall and saw his opponent’s ball hit the top of the tin, unfortunately obscuring the view of Clifford who was parked on the back wall. Meanwhile the scorer and the peanut gallery all saw the ball up from 11 metres away. Surely it us easier to see the ball 15 times closer; probably why you have an independent referee!
Chamber in front 2 matches to 1 and 7 games to 4, looking even better.

The scene was set; Dave (a diehard Liverpool supporter, shame) playing at #2 only had to get a game to secure the match. He played Neil and got off to a slow start at 6-2 down. Dave got his act together and reached game point down. A beauuuuuutiful forward drive got to 14 all. Then 15-14 to Dave, game and match in the bag. Oops, as per Liverpool against lower league sides, Neil rattled off the next three points to win 17-15. Shame. 2 to Neil (9). Third game and Dave was improving all the time. Dave reached game point down and this time a beauuuuutiful backhand drive got to 14 all. Next point to Neil 15-14.
Crucial          rally. 

Dave         on top.

Dave backhand drive. 

Check photo, a winner.

Neil scrapes a return.

Dave puts it in the tin!

He lost 3-0 and the overall match was lost by 8 points! A pretty even start to the season.

We wish a speedy return to the courts for our captain, Peter Fillmore, and Peter Le Roux who were both under the knife recently with a knee and elbow respectively.

Squash Tip of the Week
Never give up running. Even if your opponent may look younger and actually be younger, he may not be fitter!

Overall result: Lost 7 - 9


8th LEAGUE  vs Bryanston

Andries won 3-0
Gabriel won 3-0
Steph lost 0-3
Andy lost 0-3

(I guessed the games as they lost on points)

Match score: Lost 6 - 9


9th LEAGUE YMT vs Modder

No result

Overall result : 

9th LEAGUE OMT vs Bryanston

No result (JohAn where are you???)

Overall result : 



This year Chamber have 6 ladies teams playing league. This hasn’t happened for many years – and a lot of juniors playing as well.

Some match reports in future would be very welcome ladies – Captains delegate this responsibility to somebody.

LADIES 2nd LEAGUE 01 vs Old Eds

A great start to the season for this very young team (apart from Pauline whose age is more than the other three girls added together!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Pauline won 3-0

Hannah - won 3-1 (age 14)

Megan won 3-0 (age 15)

Ashley won 3-0 (age 16)

Overall result: Won  16 - 1
LADIES 2nd LEAGUE 02 vs Old Eds

Shelley lost 2-3

Lisa Brewer lost 2-3

Lisa Baillie lost 0-3

Walkover won 3-0

Overall result: Lost 7 - 12
LADIES 3rd LEAGUE 03 vs Modder

Tracey won 3-1

Hannah H lost 0-3 (age 13)

Michelle won 3-0

Josephine won 3-0

Overall result: Won 12 - 4
LADIES 3rd LEAGUE 04 vs Modder 

Chrisna won 3-1

Sonelle lost 2-3

Jenny won 3-0

Mandy won 3-0

Overall result: Won 14 - 4
LADIES 3rd LEAGUE 05 vs Northcliff

Jana lost 3-1

Roshael won 3-0

Charlene won 3-2

Marisa won 3-0

Overall result: Won 13 - 5
LADIES 4th LEAGUE 06 vs Randburg

Pat lost 0-3

Vicky won 3-0

Tayla won 3-2 (new member – 12 years old – great start)

Debbie lost 0-3

The team lost by 1 point – so close.

Overall result: Lost 6 - 8