Weekly Update

Well done to 10th league for rising to the challenge of last weeks COTY nomination (even though the 16-0 was against the bottom team).

COTY nominations this week abound and are too many to list but will be recorded for the ceremony.

Commiserations go to the 9A league scribe (Pensioner Snapper Hunt) who has to have an op on his knee (housemaids knee by any chance Mike???)

The new league shirts have arrive back from the manufacturers and just need to be embroidered by Hollard and so should be ready soon.

Next week there are no league matches due to the Gauteng Open but I have block-booked courts on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday for league practice.

12th LEAGUE vs Wits

No1 Geoff - Totally outrun by a second-year student who obviously plays more squash than attends lectures lost sadly 0/3. Geoff did manage to score 5 points however.

No2 Brian - Had a very good game even though he played the last one after have been hit in the eye by his opponent playing a return shot that should have been left for a let. Won easily 3/0.

No03 Bob - Disgustingly overweight and unfit after a three week holiday looked like a fat toad on the court and could not run for anything. Lost 0/3 but did score 24 points.

N04 John - Continued his amazing form (must have a new 20-something girlfriend!) and won an entertaining match 3/2.

Final result lost 6 -10

11th LEAGUE vs Wanderers

After a “false start” at home and a hasty transfer to Wanderers …, our 11^th league result as follows:

Nigel Morgan won 3-2 (10-8 in 5^th)

Phil Alves won 3-0

Greg Erasmus lost 0-3

Roger Johnson won 3-1

And in more detail (2^nd author):

It seems that this year there is no shortage of COTY nominations and this week was no exception. If ever a COTY candidate jumped up and down waving a big flag sporting the logo “Pick me, pick me!!” it was captain Roger Johnson this week. The team arrived at the Chamber courts looking forward to giving Wanderers a royal hiding on home turf, only to find that we were actually playing away. Now in danger of forfeiting the game for late arrival, some Alonso-esque driving skills were shown to get to the Wanderers club. Thankfully, the opposition team was still there and, in gratitude for their patience, we proceeded to punish them on the courts.

Greg playing in the number 3 position was up first and proved that the early bird catches the tin, judging his drops so finely that they actually went below the line. He never really got into his game and went down 0 – 3.

Nigel went on next playing at number 1 and wrapped up the first game in a couple of minutes. His opponent came back strongly and took the next two game with little effort. Fear retribution from a captain who threatened him with knee-capping, Nigel pulled himself together and won the next two games, the final game 10-8 after being 8-4 down.

Meanwhile Phil cleaned up his opposite number 2 on the court next door with a 3 – 0 whipping. Phil doesn’t believe in hanging about on court and prefers the luxury of the gallery.

Captain Roger played at number 4 under the assumption that he had to win well to pull the team through (other games were still in progress). And win well he did with some crafty lobs and drops. He gave his opponent a smidgen of hope, gifting him one game. But it was the same kind of hope that Federer had of squeezing out a French Open victory i.e. a hope that faded quickly when cpt. Johnson got rolling. Roger took the match 3 – 1.

Despite our late arrival and clear superiority on the courts, the guys at Wanderers took us out for a great meal at Lai-Lai Gardens. Alas, it wasn’t a house of ill-repute, but rather a Chinese restaurant (Crispy Beef is recommended).

Final result won 12 -6

10th league vs. Univ of Jhb

We were deeply distressed to learn that we were the only Chamber side to lose last week and at receiving the COTY award. After all, we do have pride (and ability). I had a stern talk to the lads, told them that they must wear their Exiles squash shirts with dignity and we really, really need a win. What a response ……. 16-0!! We’ve looked menacing all season, played some superb squash and got close to beating the top sides in the league but last night was just awesome. Everything came together and we thrashed them (108 -35). Well done to Steph, Phil N, Phil P and Paul. We are on the war path – watch out 9B league.

1. Steph 3-0
2. Phil N 3-0
3. Phil P 3-0
4. Paul 3-0

Match result: 16 – 0

9th League B vs. Alberton

Another good result for the 9B team with us narrowing down the gap to 9 points behind team 9A.

Graham Vermaak won 3-1 right back on form with a good win.

Peter Fillmore lost 0-3 Not sure what to do with this one.

Peter Le Roux won 3-1 Keeping up his reputation of being our banker.

Gavin Martin won 3-0 His opponent did not pitch.

Match result 12-6

9th League A vs. Southern Suburbs

Entertained the mighty Southern Suburbs at home last night --- and humbled them !

But first some well deserved COTY nominations:

First to the snot snivelling 9th "b" captain Peter Fillmore and his entire team for showing no respect to their seniors and taking court 2 ahead of us.

Secondly to Phil Piper captain of 10th league and his entire team for the same reason and taking court 1.

On the credit side court 5, where we ended up, is a lot closer to the pub. On the debit side, we had 12th leaguers Bob Lees and his merry band of reprobates next door on court 4. Crichton, Swiegers, Ferrington, Crossman ...... God help us and enough said. It was total chaos.

Thirdly to Roger Johnson who led his whole 11th side astray by pitching at home with the entire outfit only to learn they were actually away at Wanderers !

But back to the business at hand.

On first at no 2 went Doc Paul Fallon. Yes, the one and the same Fallon who won best league record two years ago. And who again took no prisoners. A straight, clean and clinical demolition job. Wham bam thank you mam. 3 - 0 and 27 -- 7 in the making.

Followed up by no 1 Bruce hard working Bydawell. Folks, this was an amazing match, to be true. Our Bruce got clobbered in the 1st 0 -9 and not much better the 2nd, 2- 9. Despair in the camp was setting in. So back he bounced with a brilliant rear guard action 9 - 7 up in the third but only to succumb 7 - 9 in the 4th. The result however doesnt reflect the match. So come down and have a grand stand seat on any Wed night. 1 -- 3 down.

I drew lots with Nick Pappa for the no 4 spot. I won. Had a very shaky start 2 -- 9 down followed by a fair bit of exercise in meeting out revenge for Bruce 3 -- 1.

Nick Pappa finshed off the evening in fine style in front of 9th "b", 10th, !2th and all their opponents. Chamber was alive to much noise and alcohol. A rowdy affair. Certainly no place for a gentleman. He made a gallant effort amid the shouting and screaming.. He lost 1 --3.

So down tumble the mighty Suburbs 10 -- 7 overall.

7 wins out of 7 so far and on we march.

Match score: 10-7

8th League vs Wendywood

Wendywood away – our last match of the first half, and our unbeaten captain has gone missing for the night.

Andy at 1 up first against Ryan, a familiar looking youngster – realizes its Gordon Ashby’s son (and remembers playing Gordon 25 years ago at the old chamber!). Andy takes a close first game, gets outhit in the second, resorts to lobbing everything to win the third, and a close fourth is suddenly finished when at 6 all Ryan obligingly hits 3 in a row into the tin. 1 match to us.

Jacques on next, after 2 close games and a score of 1-1 Jacques gets on top to take the 3^rd and races to 8-3 in the fourth……… we called him Sharks in the pub. 1 match each.

Meanwhile “unbeaten” George, our oldest player, on another court has raced into a 0-2 down position (we think he’s trying to preserve his number 3 slot and not get moved up) but class comes through and he comes back strongly to win 3-2. 2 matches to 1 to us.

So all set for a tense final match to decide the fixture……but their number 2 doesn’t turn up (much to Stuart’s relief as he hasn’t actually played for weeks), so we take the 14-6 win and retire first to Wendywood’s pub and then the Baron for a team bonding session (and to find out how old George really is)

Match result: 14-6.

7th League vs Wits

My literary talents are nowhere near those of Mr Bullen (who apparently has an inordinate knowledge of Star Wars - a misspent youth - and a substantial amount of time to conjure up match reports during office hours). Nevertheless herewith the uneventful eveing:

Played Wits at home (current points after 6 games - 90 from 96)

Flip - 3-0 (his flowing locks were about the most interesting part of the game - Flip - the team can arrange a haircut)

Phil - 3-0 (clinical as usual)

Gavin G - 2-3 (his opponent found his twin ringer after the first game - a complete turnaround in skill levels)

Gavin B - 3-0

Result - 14- 3

Parkview appears to be the only challenge ahead???

Match result: 14-3.

5th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

On another nice cool evening at the Ice Chamber, The Silver Fox went on first confident that the lob, drop, boast game of last week would triumph again. Unfortunately after a close and long first game was lost 10-8, the Silver Fox turned into a bedraggled vixen and gained few extra points to lose 0-3.

Feathers went on next against an old adversary (Robbie Coetzee) and took advantage of a seemingly injured and out-of-form Robbie to win 3-0.

Chris (Captain my Captain) then took to the court with great trepidation against a young and agile opponent who proceeded to out-run and out think CmC to run away with the 1^st 9-4. CmC however grew in confidence after a few juvenile errors in the next game sneaking it 10-9. He then proceeded to do the same in the 3^rd (10-9) and a demoralized opponent then self-destructed in the 4^th. Easily the best match of the season from CmC.

Our import from 4^th Lge, Vevek then entered the fray only requiring a game for a points count-out. He came up against a very wily character, however, who proceeded to clinically win the first 2 games. After a quick flurry to get to 5-0 up in the 4^th, normal service was again resumed and Vev went down 0-3.

So a narrow loss to the team just above us in the league.

Result 6-9

4th LEAGUE vs Wits

Wits are leading 4^th, but their strong French import is no longer playing for them, so maybe they won’t win as many anymore.

Gary lost 1-3

Trevor lost 2-3 (close)

Shaun won 3-1 (still hasn’t lost a match all season)

Jeff won 3-0 (still undefeated in 4^th)

Match result: 11-7

We beat them but they still lead the league.

Match Result: 14-5

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Southern Suburbs

Lynda 1-3

Caroline 3-0

Claire 3-0

Amanda 0-3

Won in games lost in points

Overall result 9-6

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 01 vs Edenvale

Lisa won 3-1

Julie won 3-0

Jenny won 3-0

Chrisna won 3-2

Lisa opponent blamed the front wall of court 1, we think she was trying to psych Lisa out, nobody else seemed to hit the bad spot, Chrisna did her usual trick down 2-0 and then suddenly realised that she was on a squash court! Julie was told by her opponent not to do little drops but no notice was taken.

Overall result 16-3

11th LEAGUE vs Alberton

Phil Alves won 3-0
Roger Johnson won 3-0
Greg Erasmus lost 2-3
Johan Mare lost 2-3

Result win 12-6


Final result lost 12 - 6

10th league vs. Western rackets

Heaps of traffic on Ontdekkers forced a voyage of discovery through the side streets of Roodepoort and for the first time ever I arrived at WRWC (what does the second W stand for anyway?) without getting lost! Being the first Exile there, went on first and proceeded to lose yet again, having struggled to a 2 – 1 lead. Phil Norton went on next in another 5 set battle, also from a lead, but had a more successful outcome. Richard Lees started off with much promise but then seemed to lose focus. Finally Dylan Wallett made up for a ropey start to win in fine style.

Steph 2 – 3
Phil 3 – 2
Dylan 3 – 1
Richard 0 – 3

Match result: 8 – 11, another close one going the wrong way.

9th League B vs. Alberton

Good result last night as follows:-

Graham Vermaak won 3-1 he is back to form.
Peter Fillmore won 3-1 not a convincing win.
Peter Le Roux lost 1-3 did not find his rhythm, 2nd loss of the season.
Gavin Martin won 3-0 good start to his come back trail.


Match result 13 - 5

9th League A vs. Wanderers

Two good wins in one night. 9A beat the Wanderers maintaining their 100% winning record. The reporter had not been to the Wanderers courts for 13 years and was impressed with the full glass court. The combination of the excessive, unexpected rain (what is happening to the South African weather patterns?) and the extreme cold he thought he was playing on the said court. Sheet ice, aka glass door, had to be chipped off prior to entering the court. He used the coldness to his advantage, spurred on by promotion up the order, only took his track suit off late in the third (a gesture to make the oppo feel not so bad) and only gave away (emphasis on gave!) 6 points to avoid a possible COTY nomination. Nic kept his 100% winning stat intact and eased passed his oppo after they arrogantly called for one in the second. Next was the intergalactic battle (excellent report back last week Colin) of the Alexander Forbes and Steinhoff financial managers. The furniture man won. Quote from our Bruce “I made 6 mistakes in the last game”. This must be creative accounting talk as in simple engineering talk it was 9 mistakes as he went down 9 nil! In the last match Paul participated in a Humdinga against their Bruce. What a Willy oops spellchecker bombed out should read Wally. Paul had 3 match points in the fourth. He put is demise down to lack of fitness and for such a young man this is criminal.
Reflecting the team spirit, the entire team pitched up and stand-downs George and Mark played to a 2-3 score line; the former having warmed up with a couple of bevies. Excellent cuisine was had and oh yes the other good win was England 3 Estonia 0.

Squash Commentary of the Week
It takes nine points to win a game, not seven! Nic’s encouraging, heartening and motivating quote to Bruce after his first game.

#1: Bruce lost to Wessel 0-3: 7-9, 2-9, 0-9
#2: Paul lost to Bruce 2-3: 3-9, 9-2, 9-2, 8-10, 7-9
#3: Michael beat Louis 3-0: 9-0, 9-3, 9-3
#4: Nic beat Gavin 3-0: 9-3, 9-8, 9-5

Match score: 10-6

8th League v Edenvale

I’m sure you are all desperate to know how the 8th league did.
I couldn’t let Jacques’ first win of the season go unreported. Jacque put us off to a great start with a 3-0 thrashing, though we didn’t know if this was a good sign or not as we’d done pretty well in the other games when he lost! Then on went Andy who was unfortunately overpowered by a young whipper snapper, 3-0, although the last two games went to 9-7. George came out of semi-retirement to beat the pants off his opponent, 3-0 and then I wrapped up the tail 3-0 for another great evening for the team.
Nuno’s excellent as usual.


Match result: 12-3.

7th League vs Germiston

Long, long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… oh stuff it, we played squash on Tuesday - it wasn’t an intergalactic battle (but it was far, far, away). You will have to wait for the return of the injured Lukewarm Captain one day for the next exciting episode!

Phil Maxton and Gavin Geldenhuys decided to annex both courts simultaneously and make the 4th league wait for one of their games to finish. Fortunately that did not take long as Gavin carelessly gave away 4 points in the match. Apparently his opponent had cramp in his shin (?). Phil was his usual clinical self as he destroyed his opponent 3-0. Richard on next and did my best to lose but some how managed to sneak it in three. Hitting my opponent on the nose with my racquet helped subdue his stubborn resistance. With the match wrapped up, Flippie thought he had it in the bag after walking the first game. The wheels then came off as his opponent woke up and the match was lost 1-3.

Overall our worst result of the season but a 13-3 win nevertheless.

COTY nomination to Flip for arriving in Germiston first but getting to the courts last.


Match result: 13-3.

5th LEAGUE vs Pirates

On a nice cool evening at the Ice Chamber

Ryan went on first at No.3. After a hard fought 1st game which Ryan lost, Ryan’s young legs (relatively) came to the party and 3 games later a comfortable win was achieved – not without a few of Ryan’s trademark drives into the tin however. A good win 3-1

Next on at No.1 was ”Baldy” Jeff against an opponent who had spent the last 3 or 4 weeks playing 2nd league. The first game was a tight affair with “Baldy” up 7-6. He couldn’t finish however and went down 9-8. No problem our roadrunner kept going and got to 8-6 up in the 2nd. But again he couldn’t finish going down 10-8. In the third “Baldy” was again up 8-6. He couldn’t possibly lose this game could he? Oh yes he could 10-8 again. This was a great match and one of the closest 3-0 games I’ve seen for a long time. Jeff was left scratching (or polishing) his head.

Feathers Peacock then went on at 2 and swiftly went down 2-0. Feathers was playing badly (even worse than the time Richard Bothwell beat him 27-1). All appeared lost with Feathers needing a game to make the last match interesting. Somehow he won the 3rd and then the 4th. The 5th was a titanic battle with Feathers getting more desperate with every point. However digging deep he snuck in 10-9.

John (for some reason being nicknamed “The Silver Fox” – thanks Jeff) went on next and took full advantage of the pleasantly cool conditions, lobbing, dropping and boasting to a comfortable 3-1 win.

Result 12-7,

Another good win and another pleasant pizza at Nunos finished the evening.

4th LEAGUE vs Jeppe

Willem beat Terry 3-1
Gary beat Mark 3-1 (He retired hurt after spraining his ankle)
Trevor beat Ryan 3-0
Vevek lost to Peter Raines 2-3 (Vevek had match point)

Match Result: 14-5

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Alberton

Lynda 3 - 0
Caroline 3 – 0
Claire 3 – 1
Pat 3 – 0 She played Miss Nobody


Overall result 16-1

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 01 vs Northcliff

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 01 vs Northcliff

Lisa won 3-0
Julie won 3-2
Jenny won 3-0
Chrisna won 3-2 (1-9, 2-9, 9-4, 9-3, 9-3)

Overall result 16-5

Lots of chirping on the court from Julie's opponent Lynda de Villiers, one serve ended on Lynda's head and then in the 5th at 6-8 to Lynda a ham string was pulled and Julie got to 8 all when Lynda decided to throw in the towel as playing Golf later this week was more important.

Chrisna had a disasterous start but then something clicked and when her opponent came off court at the end of the match there was complaints of a gas smell on court that seemed to bring on an asthma attacked. She left with out saying goodbye

12th LEAGUE vs Old Eds

Keith Arnot stood in for us and played No. 1 against a very skilful player who gave Keith a thrashing to 0/3. Our No.2 was Geoff Veining who played against a very proficient young lady who gave Geoff a good game. Pretty close to losing at times, Geoff held on to go through in 5 games to win the set at 2 / 3. No. 3 was played by Brian Sweigers who romped home with an easy win at 0 / 3. John Ferrington playing No. 4 had a good win against a fairly strong player to take the match in four games at 1 / 4

Final score a win for Chambers 6 / 12

A good sound win at last.

Final result lost 12 - 6