12th LEAGUE vs Wanderers

Brian at no.1 started well winning the first, then losing the second, recovers to win the third and then runs out of steam to lose 2-3.

Geoff at no. 2 struggles and lost the first 2 games and then comes back strongly winning the next 2 (9-0 and 9-1) only to lose the fifth. Also 2-3.

Des at no.3 and Paddy at 4 frustrated with themselves and not good at all to both lose 0-3.

Final result 4-16, only a slight improvement from 0-16 in the first round.

Final result 4-16

11th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

1. Johan Carstens lost 1-3

2. Greg Erasmus lost 1-3

3. Claude Klopper lost 2-3 (marathon)

4. Roger Johnson lost 2-3

Final result 4-16

10th LEAGUE vs Randburg

It seems as if we’ve been infiltrated. The Randburg team has been doing reconnaissance for their Gauteng League matches. To the extent that they read the Chambers blog from the first leg of the league and were none too impressed with the match report submitted. Words like “disparaging” and “scathing” were bandied about. It seems as if the delicate feelings of the Randburg contingent were deeply hurt and the scars may take some time to heal. Unbeknownst to me, the blog actually has a wider audience outside of the four walls (or maybe a few more than that) of the Chamber. So I’d like to put a disclaimer – learnt this word from Mr Bowen – into this report to the effect that claims of any physical or emotional damage caused by this report, misrepresentations of character, errata found herein or general feelings of discontent regarding the economy, the political situation, crime, global warming or the service at MacDonalds can be communicated directly to the Club Chairman, John Shannon a.k.a the Grey Fox, who will be sure to find a timely and satisfactory solution to all grievances. No responsibility whatsoever shall be placed on the burdened shoulders of the team captain and scribe. That done then, on to the report proper.

No. 2 Phil A vs. Graeme (alias Tequila Express): a strange game to be a spectator to, mostly from the point of view of trying to figure out Graeme’s strategy. On reflection it looked as if he was following the old school of thought that says you should let your opponent get up about 7 points in each game before you make it onto the board. Almost worked too, taking Phil by surprise each time and almost making him gift the games to the Express out of sympathy. Luckily our man pulled through and it seems that the Express was at the wrong station… 3-1 to Phil.

No. 1 Nigel vs. Ed (alias Ringer): despite the obvious conclusion that his nickname comes from time spent in jail, it’s actually a reference to the fact that 1st league was full and so Ed has settled for 10th. In the home leg of the league, Tom managed to get 9 points when he played against the Ringer. It was my intention to do better than this and maybe sneak a game off him. But these guys were clearly sore at the previous match report and the Ringer set to work putting me through the wringer (Did you see that? What I just did there? The pun on words? No doubt that this is Pulitzer material. Either that or I’ll be held for manslaughter for the collective pulmonary embolisms caused by the badness of the paragraph. And yes, I know badness isn’t really a word. Is it? Whatever). Having said that, these were the hardest 5 points I’ve ever had to play for but that didn’t prevent a thrashing. 0-3 against Nigel.

No. 4 Tom vs. Sven (alias Jack Sparrow): Tom hadn’t played for about 3 months and didn’t know what to expect from his first time on court since the cretaceous period. As luck would have it, the Sparrow himself hadn’t spent a whole lot of time chasing the ball recently and may have more comfortable wielding a cutlass than a racquet in the first game. Tom was hitting the ball cleanly and getting good length and this saw him through a second game that could otherwise have gone the Sparrow’s way. And so it was into the third game with both players puffing a bit from the lack of courtside action. Tom cleaned up here for an encouraging return to the league. 3-0 to Tom.

No. 3 Steph vs. Stewart (alias Grumpier): So it was left to Steph to seal up the win for us. From the offset it was a physical game and these two went at it (squash, that is) like Foreman and Ali. Steph wasn’t impressed when the markers call went against him to give his opponent an 8-7 lead in the first game. The two players then traded many a rally to take the score to 9-9. Here, at the end of an extended rally, Steph made a plaintive (and dubious) call for a let. When this wasn’t awarded, the death stares that went the marker’s way could have melted titanium. So that was it, 9-10 down in the first game. The second game was equally hard fought, this time going 10-8 to Steph though. This seemed to break Grumpier somewhat and Steph played some superb length, interspersed with the odd delicate drop to take the next two games and the match.

Summary: Nigel: 0-3: 2-9, 2-9, 1-9

Phil: 3-1: 9-5, 9-7, 7-9, 9-6

Steph: 3-1: 9-10, 10-8, 9-6, 9-6

Tom: 3-0: 9-0, 9-3, 9-7

Final result 12-5

9th league vs. Western Rackets

First on was Dave Hamilton playing at number 4. His opponent, playing a combination of tennis, squash and table tennis, ran amok and quickly took the first two games. After seeking some advice from his colleagues, he came out firing and won the third, only to come unstuck in the fourth. He felt the marker may have been a little unfair for turning down two appeals for strokes, a suggested that the marker should attend a refresher marking course.

Next on was captain Fillmore at number 2. Coming off a defeat away to Edenvale last week, albeit at No.1, he had a bit of pressure on him to perform. He started well, playing good squash and was soon 2 games up and a match point at 8-2. His opponent then rallied to take the third 10-8 and Peter was contemplating giving up squash after forfeiting such a good position. However the troops rallied from the sideline and he picked up his game to win the fourth, taking the game 3-1. All square.

On third was Peter Le Roux, making a comeback with his new bionic arm. Following a stunning 3-0 win against Edenvale and rescuing his team from a near disaster, he again produced some scintillating squash to outplay a rather useful and more youthful opponent 3-0.

Finally Graham Vermaak come on to round off the evening, needing just one game to secure us the victory. After a flying start and claim the first game, he came unstuck against a slightly built but hard hitting opponent. Although evenly matched, the week away trekking in the Drakensberg took the edge off Graham's game and he lost 1-3.


Graham Vermaak 1-3

Pete Fillmore 3-1

Pete Le Roux 3-0

Dave Hamilton 1-3

Match result: 10-7

8th League vs. Southern Suburbs

Chairman John writes “7th & 8th leagues are putting in a big push for trophies in the second half winning all their matches comfortably so far (is it coincidence that George B has not played in these matches!!!!)”

Lawyer George replies “Alright, so I gave the rest a show in for a few weeks but the maestro is back tomorrow. (God help me if we lose.)” We hope God helps him and that the coincidence is not maintained because the team performed like the latest Springbok jersey. What a calamity, only 5 points, not really championship challenging material. Southern Suburbs, in the bottom half of the league pulled out a team with a pleasing blend of young and old, 17 to 60+; great to see some youngsters playing this grand game. George who played under severe pain from a raw, skin revealing under sole, started the night well breaking down the mind of an enthusiastic 18 year old, suntanned Thathe to take the rubber. Next on was Mike also playing a youngster less than a third of his age. 2 love down and match point down, and he rallies back to 2 all but then his legs give up and Mike tamely looses the 5th. Match at one all, but up in games. Oops, on goes Nick tripping over the walking stick of his 60+ opponent on his way into the court. Nick was sporting even longer shorts than last week and making yet another fashion statement claim of best dressed squash player at a previous summer league. They must have weighed him down because he wobbled and bobbled around the court, swatting non existent flies, only managing 8 points in total. Things’ not looking good and it was over to Mark to pull it out of the hat for the team and God-fearing George. Unfortunately Mark had a bad night and his opponent a good night. Match lost and the team hopes their poor performance is a mere hiccup on the roller coaster ride to championship glory.

The team wants to wish Paul a speedy recovery following 2 days in hospital after conking out at home; looks like we will be needing you.

Squash Tip of the Week

The serve is the easiest shot to play as the ball direction is under your control. Difficult to ace one but this does not prevent starting the game with an advantage, by getting the ball to at least bounce off the side wall.

#1: Mark vs. Trevor, 0-3: 3-9, 4-9, 4-9

#2: Nick vs. J Marques, 0-3: 0-9, 5-9, 3-9

#3: Mike vs. Darren, 2-3: 9-10, 0-9, 10-9, 9-7, 2-9

#4: Mike vs. K Thathe, 3-1: 9-2 3-9, 9-6, 10-8

Match score: 5 - 13

7th League vs. Wits

No report but they did win (I think)

Match score: 11-9

6thth League “B” vs Parkview

It seems like we are making sure of our B status by getting thumped by Parkview.

Chris on at 1 – Says he is still busy acclimatising after being stuck up in the mountains of Peru. Lost the first 2, came back after a lot of hard work to win the third and then the tank was empty. Lost 1-3

Gavin on at 2 – a few points later Gavin off at 2. I never even when to the mountains and got thumped 0-3

Dirk on at 3 – Plenty of pressure to save a bit of face. Dirk takes the first game fairly comfortably. The second is more difficult but after plenty of running Dirk wins (Duncan starting to worry about his game). Dirk decides that he needs a little more respite from the night duty at home so cannot finish this off early and throws the next two games. The 5th was an up and down affair with Dirk emerging as the winner 3-2. Great match Dirk.

Duncan on at 4 – Dirk should have kept the pressure on Duncan. Duncan knowing we could not win relaxed. Duncan’s claim to fame for the evening was getting more points than the captain (2 more) and it was all over 0-3

Match result : 4-14

6thth League “A”(Awe Inspiring) vs Old Parks

John was spared the thought of playing Cheyna Tucker after his narrow victory in the first half knowing that she was only getting better and he was only getting older. Anyway John was up first and barely broke a sweat against a gallant but outclassed Gareth. (3-0)

Fergus next up next. Fergus lost the first game dismally and all three of his team mates agreed he had played crap! Duly castigated by his team mates, Fergus upped his game considerably to take the next three with consummate ease. We agreed that the next time he played, we would castigate him before he goes on court as it seems to have the desired effect. (1-3)

Gavin up next against Frik. It was no contest as Gavin continued his good form. (3-0)

Let’s just say that there are players we enjoy playing and those we do not. This match fell into the latter category. With the match already won there was nothing riding on the game. As a result, I was taking it a touch easy in the first and lost it before I wiped my eyes out. Things went pear shape at 8-7 in the second when Tyrone hit a ball that everyone (including his team mate) thought had clipped the tin and he simply walked off the court convinced he had won the game. The marker (his team mate) would not over rule him and allowed the point to stand. It went from bad to worse in the next games as call after call was challenged (with Fergus now marker) and the game resembled more of rugby than squash. The match went to five sets and I eventually was lucky to prevail on my fourth match point. In the final analysis, a very unenjoyable and unsatisfying win. (3-2)

Match result : 16-3

3rd LEAGUE vs Parkview

Something has to be done about this team. We need some good players urgently if we plan to win this league. We played Parkview last night and got a hiding. Jeff played first against Michael; the youngster whose father sits there with a spreadsheet gathering stats of each shot. Jeff played his heart out, he played the best I’ve seen him play in weeks. Jeff caught up to 8 all in the 5th from being well down, but youth prevailed and Jeff just couldn’t finish.

Francis played next against Steven, and was 2-0 down before he knew what was happening. But he dug in and managed to win the next 3 convincingly.

Trevor played next against Aidan. Imagine that. Trevor was also down 2-0 before he got into the game. He managed to get the third and caught up to 8 all in the fourth from being well down, only to lose it and the match. Pity.

Gary played last against the very active youngster Sibusiso. Gary was out played and lost in 3.

Willem, well he turned up missing.

Francisco 3-2

Gary 0-3

Jeff 2-3

Trevor 1-3

Match Result: 6-14 (dismal)

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Wits

A first for this year. We beat Wits 16 - 0.

Overall result 16-0

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs BYE

Lisa won 3-2

Julie lost 1-3

Jenny lost 1-3

Lynda won 3-1

Overall result 8-11

12th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

No. 1 Brian in a tough game but leading 2-1 and up 7-1 in the 4th, loses concentration to take the game into a five setter. He unfortunately runs out of steam and loses 2-3. His first loss of the season.

No. 2 Geoff back to form and a convincing 3-0 win.

No. 3 Paddy tried but could not do too much and a 1-3 loss.

Games at 6 all and result depends on John to repeat heroics from last week. Unfortunately this was not to be and despite a good fight against opponent who played no. 1 in the first round match, John went down 1-3.

Final result 7-12

11th LEAGUE vs Germiston

Ongoing woes of 11th continue against Germiston away ...

1 Brennan won 3-1 (only bright spot)

2 Johan lost 0-3

3 Roger lost 0-3

4 Keith lost 1-3

Final result 4-13

10th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

This match report will last about as long as the games did on Wednesday evening. We were up against an Edenvale side weakened by ailment and shortage of players.

No. 4 Steph vs Aruna: Steph was up first and must have been in a hurry because he only dropped 7 points in wrapping the match up. Steph’s explanation was that he expected a tough Master’s game the next evening and had to preserve his strength. 3-0 to Steph.

No. 1 Phil A vs ?? (Dean, I think): Didn’t see this game, but am told that Phil played very well against a 16-odd year old letting his opponent make the mistakes. Probably the only one of the Edenvale team who put up a good fight, but Phil was on top form and took the match 3-1.

No. 3 Nigel vs Andre: Despite almost allowing Andre to take the first game, the rest of the match was a formality and it was 3-0 to me.

No. 2 Lyal vs Christine: Christine was a little under the weather and struggled to get around the court. This was just what Lyal needed and sent the ball to all corners of the court with some good lobs and signature drops. A short match went to Lyal 3-0.

It was all over by 8pm, so we moved on to Picoballa’s to solve the problems of the nation. And drink some beer.

Final result 16-1

9th league vs. Edenvale

We played Edenvale and won 10-7 as follows:-

1) Peter Fillmore Lost 0-3

2) Peter Le Roux Won 3-0

3) Dave Hamilton Lost 2-3

4) Gavin Martin Won 3-1

Match result: 10-7

8th League vs. Edenvale

On went Mike and as they say in Cricket circles, “did not bother the scorer” not registering a single point in the first game. What a wally; but things improved and despite a broken string he managed to beat the Knight Rider, who shared motor biking stories with our Vesparian; which leads into the joke. What’s the difference between putting your hand down the front of Dolly Parton’s blouse and riding a Vespa? You feel more of a t1t riding a Vespa! Next on was Mark complete with rent a crowd, his son Stephen. This must have spurred him on as he played a superb game that has catapulted him to number one next week. His “never stops talking” opponent Mike Lawrensen, tried tripping and using the frame only but this did not deter Mark who executed the world’s first ever 4 wall boast successfully, followed by several topspin drops. A shot revered by many in the table tennis arena. Next on was Nick who was making a fashion statement with his shorts (actually they look like longs against his fox terrier type legs). The team are not sure what the statement was or is but the scribe has been tasked with finding out. Nic played well and leveled the head to head matches between them to 2 all. Greg, shaking off the flu and a nice wife, kept plonking the ball in the tin and managed to dot all the i’s on the Schickerling, Bowen & Hesselink sponsored court. Last match of the night was a humdinger; primeval, man vs. woman. After Bruce had stopped ogggggling his opponent’s physique whilst loosing the first game, excellent tactical squash took over and the match went to five with an exhibition of retrieving, delicate lobbing, trickle boasting etc. It toed and froed with the well deserved winner Pam coming out on top. Nick commented that she was an orthodox player; what else would you expect from a Greek.

The last three matches have been 16, 14 and 14 and it is hoped that the winning streak can be maintained giving the team a chance of winning the league. On the latest published results from our Chairman John, Edenvale B are the log leaders but this is not a true reflection of the state of play. Edenvale A and ourselves have only been credited with 10 out of 11 matches. If the missing scores are included (Edenvale A got a 14 and we also got a 14) the log standings would be first Edenvale A with 131 points and us third with 124 points only 4 points behind Edenvale B. Having thrashed Edenvale B tonight, making them non title contenders, it could well come down to the last match of the season to decide the champions. It will be at home against the present log leaders Edenvale A who are only 7 points ahead. We want to emulate our 3rd, 5th, 6th and 10th league teams, who are to be congratulated.

Squash Tip of the Week

There are a couple of ways to take the speed off the ball. The accepted method is to hold back on the shot with soft hands but in eighth league the more favoured method is to use the frame. Slightly lower percentage but it comes at the same cost as the strings, so use it.

#1: Bruce vs. Pam Dollenberg, 2-3: 1-9, 9-6, 5-9, 9-7,3-9

#2: Mark vs. Mike Lawrenson, 3-0: 9-2, 9-3, 9-4

#3: Nick vs. Greg Whyte, 3-0: 9-7, 9-3,10-8

#4: Mike vs. Clint (when written in capitals the L runs into the I and can be embarrassing) Nel, 3-1: 0-9, 9-5, 9-7, 9-4

Match score: 14 - 4

7th League vs. Southern Suburbs

Captain Loake 1st.Played some guy at No, 3 that ran quite a bit.Managed to lob him which he did'nt seem to enjoy-won 3/2

Next on George,who we all thought would win 3-0 looking at the first game,but his opponent kept on running and ended up winning.Chamber loosing 2/3........match all square

Jacques on next at no.4 not a bad game unfortunately he went down 1/3

Next on superman Manie needing a 3/0 to win.Manie's superb fitness was unmatchable,his opponent complaining that there was too much water on the court seeping from Manies forehead.After Manie winning 3/1, because his opponent could'nt run any more,we ran out winners on points......11/9 to 7th league

Match score: 11-9

6thth League “B” vs Bryanston Sports

Are we allowed to nominate opponents for COTY awards? If so, I would to nominate Paul, Bryanston’s number three, being the only member to be present at the start he had no choice to play first, that is before he realised he forgot his shoes…

First up, Dirk vs the German, the replacement nr 3 and went up 3-0.

Flippie vs Stephen, outclassed his opponent 3-1. Flippie took a breather after the first two games.

Mr Vey, our number four for the evening played Paul after he finally got his shoes on. Mr. Vey’s last match was in March and it was showing, though entertaining and unfortunately went down 0-3.

All came down to Chris van Heeswijk, playing Alan at number 1. Now, Chris himself has not played for three weeks, but this did not stop him from outlasting his opponent. A good 3-2 and Chamber is still in the habit of winning!

Match result : 12-6

6thth League “A”(Awe Inspiring) vs Old Eds

Squash rule #23 – if you don’t get to squash on time, you risk being bumped up and playing in a higher position than you expected.

While under clear and unambiguous instructions from his captain, the Silver Fox took it upon himself to drop himself to number two and proceeded, nevertheless, to have a tough match against the lanky Forbes. John made a meal of what should have been pretty straight forward by losing the first two games 8-10. With the pressure now on, John was able to pull himself towards himself and rattled off the next three games for the loss of 5 points. (3-2)

Clearly John’s decision was influenced by the sight of the young whipper snapper playing one, Arne. Getting on the court with the youngster, I knew that I was in for a tough one. This guy was quick and would not stop running (and that was just the warm up)! I knew that this was not a four or five setter I was going to win, so set about mixing it up as best I could and frustrated him to take the first game 9-5. The second was a lot tighter and could have gone either way but I eventually prevailed 9-7. Mistakes were Arne’s downfall in the third and I was very relieved to wrap it up in three (3-0).

Sadesh graciously filled in at four against Jason who was at least double his girth. Sadesh had hardly played in the last three months and it showed as he battled to find his line and length. While he may have lacked a little in his game, he was tenacious and managed to eke out a game for us before succumbing (1-3).

Finally Gavin B to finish off the evening playing a sublime first game, losing only a point. However, Gavin as able to combine the sublime and the ridiculous and made a real meal of the second game before eventually taking it 10-8 and then losing the next two, both for the addition of three points in each game. In previous years Gavin would have wilted under the pressure but Gavin is made of much sterner stuff these days and pulled it out of the fire to take the final game. (3-2)

Overall – 13 - 7

We finished off the evening watching some unbelievable squash between Gareth Schnehage and Paul Atkinson. This is how squash should be played!

Match result : 13-7

5th LEAGUE vs Parkview

Vevek 3-1
Phil 2-3
Dave 1-3
Shaun 0-3

Parkview brought in some serious ringers to make sure we don't win the league!!
Vevek had a brilliant match to beat the Runner-up of the Lower Leagues Tournament.
Phil was unlucky to lose in 5 - close match.
Dave had to play some 9 year old who was all over him like a rash.
Shaun had no chance against Merik, who played at 1 in the 1st round. Told you they loaded their side

Match result : 6-13

3rd LEAGUE vs Old Eds

We played Old Eds last night who were lying 5th at the turn around, but obviously want to try win this league. They switched their order around, Mike Bester didn’t want to play Willem, Paul wanted to play Jeff and so I played Mike, Jeff played Paul, Willem played Dean and Francis played Mark.

In the first round Mark and Francis played too, Francis won 3-1. This time Mark managed to win 2 games, and get 7 points in the 5th.

Willem played Dean, who beat Willem both times last year, but Willem was hot and his straight drops did their damage. Willem won 3-0.

Gary played Mike Bester who is very sharp – he’s training for the world masters and was totally in control. Some really horrific calls from the marker (Dean) compounded the problem and Mike won a comfortable 3-0.

Jeff played Paul, who he beat in the first round, but could only manage 1 game this time round. And he was 1-8 down in the game he did win. He was well down in the 4th too and caught up to 8 all again, but just couldn’t finish.

We ended up losing by 1 game. It’s sad, as we beat them comfortably in the first half.

Francisco: 3-2

Willem: 3-0

Gary: 0-3

Jeff: 1-3

Match Result: 7-10

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Dainfern

In fact ladies 4th is steadily improving. 1 point against Old Eds, 4 against Pirates and 6 this week against Dainfern

We would have done better but they had two 13 year stars who beat Caroline and our new player Sonelle

But Chrisna and Jenny both won and in fact we beat them on points, but lost on games.

Jenny 3-0

Caroline 0-3

Chrisna 3-0

Sonelle 0-3

Overall result 6-8

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs BYE

Overall result