9th LEAGUE vs Old Parks

Down to the business end of the season with our quest for a top placement taking some knocks. How is it that teams we’ve beaten comfortably are ahead of us on the Gauteng log? Is there some trick to the new e-logging system that I’ve not cracked. This week up against Bryanston though. The first leg was no walkover and was drawn – down to the last point. We were set for revenge this time.

3. Nigel vs Gerald: Nigel managed to get through the match without reverting to invalid status. His gammy ankle wasn’t tested too much with a pretty straightforward win in three despite an averted hiccup in the last game. For good measure, some of this was recorded by our resident cameraman (Brennan) and can be viewed on:


1. Brennan vs Nolan: Yowser, but could this Nolan dude hit that ball! The thinking goes that there are some latent issues that he works out with the squash ball bearing the brunt of it. Brennan is no slouch on the power stakes himself and, between the two of them they commenced to take a good few millimeters off the court paint coat. First game to Nolan with a display of pinpoint dropping and T domination. Brennan comes right back to take the second game, but is shot to pieces in the third. We thought he had Nolan’s number in the fourth though as he went 10-2 up. Not to be though as Nolan rattled off the points to win it 15-12.

2. Phil vs Jason: Almost a repeat of Nigel’s game, Phil wasn’t bothered too much by his opponent apart from the last game where there was a bit of a points hemorrhage before he realized that he’d need to seal the game quickly if he wanted to catch the Champions League match later in the evening. This he duly did to seal the match 3-1 and the evening for Chambers. Again putting the SABC to shame, Brennan was first to get coverage:


4. Naren vs Sven: Naren’s opponent had a habitual position at number two, but was coming back from injury and had elected to play down the order in the hopes of an easy game. Naren was having none of that and cruised through the first game hitting great length while setting up for the drop. In the second game Sven turned the heat up a bit to take the game. Naren’s response was to let his boast live up to its name, crafting some shots that he can deservedly boast about. So 2-1 to Naren and looking good. But no swansong from Sven. He took the fourth game with some masterful strokeplay to even it out. The court was simmering in the spring heat and the tiredness showed a bit in the final game despite some entertaining rallies. Alas, this game and the match went to Sven.

Next week it’s battle against the log leaders – Jeppe. Unbeaten this season. A situation that we will attempt to remedy.


1. Brennan: 1-3 (6-15; 15-13; 8-15; 12-15)

2. Phil: 3-0 (15-10; 15-6; 16-14)

3. Nigel: 3-0 (15-10; 15-5; 15-11)

4. Naren: 2-3 (15-4; 10-15; 15-9; 6-15; 9-15)

Final result :11 - 6

8B - Chamber vs *A Ruffians

Match result 16 – 5

To echo Sir Winston Churchill…………who famously said somewhere on mud island………..”we will fight them on the beaches………..we will fight them in the air……………..we will fight them in the trenches…………….we will fight them at CCJ………………but we will NEVER surrender !!!!!!!!”

Quite simply we “The mighty B Span” will never surrender the bragging rights………….not now………and not in the future.……………let me tell you why…………..plain and simple……………….the ruffians are not worthy of such a prestigious accolade.

Well then what happened on the court……………..I remember listening to rugby commentator Gerhard Viviers way back when on the radio, and it was common knowledge that when SA were being given a hiding of note, he could cundger (spelling) up such a story, so much so that anyone listening would have believed that SA were about to win or only lost by a whisker.

Well you might ask………….what is the point……………

It happened…………..the most unlikely result…………..The Ruffians sneaked in by the skin of their teeth………..very very lucky indeed………in fact ………….OK no fact………….we……..that is “The mighty B Span………..just ……… No I can’t say it………..

We should have won……..but……….plagued by injury……….and maybe…………………….let be said………………age………..things didn’t turn out as planned.

Anyway Cappy Pete Filmore played OK but………l*#t narrowly to Captain Bowen

Nick Papa ……….played way beyond his prowess………..and sneaked in against the never say die Big G Gavin Martin.

Mr Fitness Bruce Bydawell outran a ‘round’ Dave Hamilton, and finally…………sad to say…..

Mark van Niekerk had no respect for “our man” GV…………who took the first 2 games quite comfortably………..but then……….lost focus………….or was it………..get me to the church on time………..what am I going to say in my speech at the reception………..and got pipped at the post………………only just.

The scores are immaterial……………..why………….who cares…………

However, the evening was rounded off with splendid dinner in the CCJ snooker room…………our partners joining us.

Match result : 5 - 16

8th League “A” vs. Chamber B

The great club derby second round played itself out on Wed.

At no 5 and first out of the hat was Fillmore vs Bowen. As a participant in this little showdown I can assure you it was memorable enough with Pete F putting up much unwelcome resistance. A good game ensued which in fairness was well balanced. However the snot snivelers captain eventually succumbed 1 -- 3.

Next up Doc Fallon and Digby at no 3. Diggers gets going like a bat out of hell and there's no stopping him. Two zip up and Doc doesn't have a clue. But he digs deep and next thing its two a piece. Then Diggers pretends to pull a muscle he doesn't even have but nevertheless plays on. Another excellent match and eventually Doc pulls it off 3 -- 2. So the snivelers are up against the ropes but not out it.

At the same time at no 4 Nick Pappa and Gavin M are also having a similar ding dong with Nick also going 2 up. But big G says this doesn't feel right losing to a Greek and a very good match develops. Next thig its 2 all and Pappa must make a plan. So he decides to also pull a muscle but at least his is genuine. But he too decides to play on and next thing its all over with Nick 3 -- 2 up.

Bruce then takes on Dave Hamilton at no 2. Also some good squash on display but Bruce manages to edge him out 3 -- 0.

On last at no 1 is Graham V vs Mark V N. Played in front of a full gallery of assorted wives from both sides including his own to be in a couple of days. Its Grahams last league match ever as a free man before the chains get put on. So no doubt sensing his up coming loss of freedom, he decides to play one last great game in the name of freedom. And a very good game he played. 2 nil up he goes. But Mark himself is an old freedom fighter with his own having been restored, and he's equally determined. So yet another epic match unfolds. Mark fights back to 2 apiece and then takes it 3 -- 2. Quite a spectacle and no less than the 3rd five setter of the night.

As per tradition all names then went back in the hat and the first 4 drawn at the supper table count. Paul and Digby failed to emerge but it made no odds. The cause was already won and lost.

So 16 -- 5 to the "A" side and the bragging rights solidly back where they've always belonged.

Postscript --- match again played in fine Chamber spirit and thoroughly enjoyed by all. Pub did exceptionally well and was probably the overall winner.

And one last thing as Pete Le Roux says --- theres only one truth and all other reports, rumours etc in whatever form are to be strictly ignored.

Match score: 16 - 5

7th League vs. Wanderers

Another good win for the 7th


Keeping our I on the ball (please Stu), we had a good win against a very different Bryanston team.

No1 – Duncan Played Peter and won 3-1 – Duncan’s down the wall shots too fast for the lob and drop game Peter wanted to play

No 2 – Jacques played Ian and lost 0-3 - No comment as I have not witnessed this game

No3- Gerhard played Che (think Guevara) and won 3-1 – Che smoking too many Cuban cigars and me focusing on upping my average.

No 4 – Stuart played Kirsty and won 3-0 – Cant say anything about this game apart from the fact that Stu showed no mercy to this very lovely young lady.

No pizza’s or beer due to lack of interest (must be that time of the year……)

The Scribe

Match score: 12 - 5

6thth League vs Edenvale

After much begging and scrambling, a motley bunch of Exiles was assembled for a FAMOUS WIN (few and far between this year)

First on was Manie at 3: 0-3

Got a little taster of life in the fast lane and got bliksemed so quickly that he even forgot to sweat.

Gavin G at 2: 1-3

Has a confidence problem this year and has forgotten how to perform his sweet boast

Gavin B vs Chris Grainger at 1: 0-3

Despite 15-17 and 19-21, got a pakslae (note the Afrikaans theme)

Dirk at 4 : 3-2(he insisted on 4 as all i could get from him re playing was "tentative - i may be sick - i could be sick - smacks of a bit of hypocondria")

Nice win at the end albeit 2-0 up

4-14 and a back to the drawing board

Match result : 4 - 14

5th League vs Alberton

John went on early against Alberton’s 2nd league ringer, Gary Capell. Let’s just say that John did well to get 0 as Gary toyed with our number 1. To his credit, John managed to push Gary all the way in the third but was pipped 14-16. (0-3)

Dave went on next against young whipper snapper, Henri in a ding dong affair. In truth Dave should have done better but our Dave did his best to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Having won the fourth at a canter, 15-3, Dave was then blown away in the final game, 15-9. (2-3)

Flip’s recent rich vein of form (and a fluish captain) meant a promotion up to three, where he took on the game Kevin Morkel. Flip has seldom chased as hard as he did last night, which included losing a marathon second game 21-23. The war of attrition continued as the next two games were also shared (after Flip threw away a 13-9 lead in the third game). Fortunately Flip was able to keep the pressure on in the final game for a well deserved 3-2 win.

A rusty Captain Rich was on last against Piet Botha in the knowledge that a 3 love victory would see the match going to a points count out. The first game could have gone either way but Rich squeezed in 16-14. With the second won comfortably, John (the non-accountant) advised Rich that he couldn’t let Piet get more than 4 points in the third game. It was not to be, however, as Rich made too many mistakes but was still able to win it 15-10. Fortunately maths was never John’s strong point as Chamber still took the match by 9 points! (3-0)

Match result : 16 - 7

4th LEAGUE vs UJ

A sound thrashing!

Phil 3-0

Ryan 3-0

Vivek 3-0

Jeff 3-0

Match result : 13 - 6

3rd LEAGUE vs Wits

Wits phoned and cancelled at around 4 pm. The end.

Match Result: 16 - 0

11th LEAGUE vs Wanderers

No1 - Brian. Played a very good player who would do very well in 7th league. Brian as usual fought for every point but was not good enough and lost in 3. Very unusual for Brian.

No2 - Mario. Still nowhere near being match fit, put up a good fight but lost 1/3.

No3 - Bob. The only player on the night to win. Good games with his opponent scoring 54 points to Bob's 53 but Bob won 3/1.

No4 - John. Another "Ooh, Aah" night for John who could have done a lot better had he got it up sometimes (his girlfriend tells me the same) as he smashed just about every ball into the tin! Lost 0/3.

Not a happy result.

Final result : 4 - 13

10th LEAGUE vs Randburg

No report but….

Johan lost 0-3

Gabriel lost 1-3

Roger lost 0-3

Keith lost 0-3

Final result : 1 - 16

9th LEAGUE vs Old Parks

The usual captain and scribe was injured this week and Brennan took over the scribing duties. And a fine job he did too. His novella follows, complete with inter-active references to video clips…

I arrived at 6:30 to find their number 1, Frik on the court warming up, There was a sudden change from court 1 to court 2 because Phil noted the holes in court 1's wall was not cool.
Phil (playing number 1) got changed and hopped onto court 2 with Frik.
During the warm up I introduced myself to Jason who was a fill in from the 6th league who brought his easy-on-the-eyes girlfriend to cheer him on.
Jason said he should be playing 1 because he was coming down from 6th league, however Phil and Frik were warm and about to start.
This caused a conundrum which I made a call on and said it would be fine for Jason to play number to (aka me) *gulp*

So Phil's game got off to a start, of epic proportion1. I had just been handed a score sheet which was foreign to me, no blocks to hold my lead in to mark the server spot. Never the less Phil went on be 13 -5 down, only to come back to 13 all and the heat was on. The game reached a noyouwin-noyouwin status and finally settles on Phil being pipped 20 - 18. It took him most of the first game to figure out how to win points. Make Frik RUN! (funny that)
The second game Phil took 15 - 13. Frik was not a walkover yet. Even after giving the usual drill of advice "play deep and make him run" Frik took the 3rd 13- 15. More MakeYourOpponentRun advice was given, however it was not enough to get Frik to miss any of his deadly accurate shots. Frik won the 4th and final game 15 - 9 much to our dismay. However if you would like to witness Phil's last game taken with an iPhone and slightly bad filming have a look here.
I took the video hopping for an epic comeback but alas.

So now came my game, 9th league rookie vs 6th league wannabe. I went into the game with a the mindset of, "oh SH*T, oh well I have nothing to lose and nothing to show off let me just play my best." Jason had deadly accurate shots and a powerful swing. I could feel my heart beating going into it. I played with all my heart and managed to use my adrenalin to take the first game 15 - 12, oh hell lucky game I thought lets see if I could do it again in the next. Jason had the skill but no BMT (That's Big Match Temperament). He made careless errors giving my hopeful eye the benefit. His cursing and yelling at his own bad shots gave me the edge. I took the second game 15 - 9. Jason was barely panting and I being the sightly unfit one needed my allotted time to try and catch my breath. I was now tired and maybe a bit cocky now that I was 2 up on a higher league fill in. My fitness struck home and the 3rd I lost 11 - 15 :(. Jason's Shots were getting more accurate and he was making less errors. He took the next 15 - 6. Steph gave me some good advice, "play hard backhand", he kept making mistakes on that one. With a renewed sense of ambition I went into my typical 5th game with 1 thing on my my mind... backhand hard and tight. Before I knew it I was 8 - 0 up and my blood was pumping with the hope of a win( and other things) I forced a few strokes, played a few deep backhands and before I knew it it I was 2 points away from a victory when a slip in the front right put a sharp pain in my achilies tendon. I took 30 seconds to see if it was game stopping or not.
13 - 9, 2 points to go, a pain in the foot. The pain was not enough to hold me back. I quickly took the last 2 points to seal the deal to end my notorious 5 setter in style. I think the slight pause at the end may have ruined his concentration. 15 - 9 a 3 - 2 victory. woohoo!

Next Steph was up vs Sergio, with his killer drops and great cross courts he nailed the first game 15 - 11 which can be watched here:
It was at this point I could feel the sign of victory in the air. I wish I could give more of an account of Steph's game but I gt lured across to Court 1 to score.
Steph Went on to literally kill Sergio in classic Steph style, accurate drop shots and not without some good opposition.

Naren earned his 9th league stripes in style as he skillfully played deceiving shots off the wall and put them out of reach of Malcolm many, many many many times. Malcolm had some great game play but his fitness and running was not there. Naren took a straight set victory which was a pleasure to watch.

Summarised scores:
Phil Alves vs Frik Hannekom 18 -20 15-13 13-15 13-15 (1-3)
Brennan Babb vs Jason 15-12 15-9 11-15 6-15 15-9 (3-2)
Steph Stephansen vs Sergio Massimiam 15-11 15-13 15-7 (3-0)
Naren Solanki vs Malcolm Pipe 15-11 15-13 15-7 (3-0)

Final result :13 - 5

8th league “B” vs. Winchester Hills

At long last………should I say it………….summer is here……..well put it this way………outside it was 28…………..inside maybe a little over 10………and the ball bounced.

However, what is not too lekker…………is that the so-called ‘formidable A’ ruffians have conveniently forgotten who holds the bragging rights……………..

Anyway we entertained a much stronger Winchester outfit and the results showed that………..First up, full of flu Pete Le Roux had to pull out all the stops to overcome his oppo. Which he did successfully 3 – zip.

On next promoted to 2………….is ek……….warm up suggested I was in for a tough one……………not wrong…….…..won the first 2 …….not easily……..lost the next 2………just…..….everyone including myself thinking……………oppo is half my age………….= trouble……….however, rose to the challenge………….comfortably won the 5th

On at the same time is our man Graham Vermaak (GV) and cappy Pete Filmore……….who claims cappy’s prerogative and plays at 4.

GV, not impressed with last weeks report………….decides he better up his game………..which he duly does………….didn’t see it………….but apparently a comfortable 3 – zip.

Not so easy for the cappy………he thought play at 4 = easy game……….…first game he gets a hiding of note…………..however, changes game plan and wins the 2nd and 3rd, …………but that was where it ended……….ran out of steam and lost the 4th and 5th ………….only just though.

Rounded off the evening with the ruffians at “Doppio”…………reminding them as to who holds the bragging rights………

Match result : 14 - 5

8th League “A” vs. Wendywood

Bryanston are top of the league and we know why. They are so confident that when one of their players does not perform he gets dropped to their 7th league side! Our first leg encounter was close 9-7 in their favour; this time we were not so good. Bruce scoring 66% of our points and Mike 33%!

Firstly we were kicked off the Number 1 court and relegated to the back courts. We will remember 10th league. Subsequently we were not fazed as it is closer to the bar! Mike started the night off well winning the first game in a convincing manner, to 16. Then it was down hill, the Indian oke (who had spent a couple of years in New York thus was giving hints to our marathon runners) was too good on the night. A 3-1 loss and if three more games had been played, extrapolation would predict that Mike would not even score a point!

Valiant George hit the boards next door and did not bother the scorer; lost 3 nil, although to be fair George did get to double figures in each game.

Mark took on their #1 who has not lost a game this season, a record that Mark did want to damage; but he didn’t, going down to duck. Again to be fair and that is what our patrons want to read (ask Vince Pienaar) Mark did get to double figures in each game.

Match of the night was Bruce taking on Alex. Alex one up, Alex two up, Bruce one back, Bruce two back and then the decider. The match was played in a fantastic spirit, well scored and at a frenetic pace. Unfortunately Alex got off to a good start in the last and maintained the momentum winning 3-2. Despite the loss it was Bruce’s best performance of the season.

We finished early through parallel matches and Doppio Zero had a table for 10 as the rest of the team pitched, Paul and Nic. Paul said that I should not mention their score of 3-2 in Nic’s favour, so I won’t.

Squash tip of the week:

When you hit the tin you lose a point, so don’t hit the tin!


Mark vs. David 0-3: 14-16, 12-15, 12-15

Bruce vs. Alex 2-3: 11-15, 11-15, 16-14, 15-11, 9-15

George vs. Steven 0-3: 12-15, 13-15, 12-15

Michael vs. Andre 1-3: 16-14, 13-15, 10-15, 7-15

7th League vs. Wanderers

The 7th staying focused, we turned the tables against Wanderers the second time having lost 6-11 in the first round!!!

No 1 - Duncan vs N Manterfield 14-16 15-8 9-15 15-13 15-11

Tough one but Duncan pulled the rabbit out of the hat when it was needed!!

No 2 - Gerhard vs J Urry 15-13 15-11 15-11

Still running scared and trying to up my average (also good win against BYE last week)

No 3 - Jacques vs B McMillan 10-15 15-9 15-12 15-12

Jacques taking good advice from the Scribe and managed a good win against a very determined and very fast Bruce

No 4 - Stuart vs G Duffy 11-15 15-4 15-9 15-7

Stuart, discovering his talent and shots in the second and never looked back……

16-4 to Chamber

Just made the Pizza and beer at Nuno’s !!



Match score: 16 - 4

6th League vs Edenvale

Herewith the sob story of the Little engine that could not.....

So 6th had to play against the feared Edenvale. Edenvale currently lying at the top of the table, whereas our fearless (well, maybe except for Dirk) warriors are in the middle somewhere....

First up is "G-Nius". Dirk played a loke who just did not want to stop running. Fearing the worst, as Dirk has been offline for a few weeks, the team began warming up early. However, Dirk played the kind of game that would make many people much younger than him, very proud. Pushing his opponent back and front, left and right, but mostly keeping his calm, G-nius made short work of his bandanna sporting opponent. When Dirk played a bad shot, it had enough disguise on it to fool the opponent into hitting the tin. Well done young man. So we take the lead 3-0.

Second up is TheRealG, or "The Squash player formally knows as BigG". Recovering from a 6 week layoff due to a nasty little virus that may or may not have come from a bacon producing animal, there was not a whole lot of lung/leg functional co-ordination during the warm up.. or the game for that matter. His opponent was a young Matric guy who brought his Mom along for moral support. After losing the first game 15-4, including serving his first three serves out, TheRealG decided it was time to employ the Jedi Mind tricks that he saw on a movie from far far away. The next game was closer with the youngster resisting the subtle bumps and deft skills of the 'porker'. Down 15-13. Ok, time to get nasty. Ask him about his matric exam tomorrow, between rallies. Blow his mom a kiss and a wink while he is watching....Ask him what his experience with girls has been like so far.... all nearly worked, but TheRealG still went down 16-14 in the third. 3-0 dammit. Score 3 each at this stage.

Then G-Bo....

G-Bo went on the court looking like a man possessed. Or like someone who had been calling people to pay him rent all day with no luck. Even though he played a guy that had just had major surgery on a very sensitive part of his anatomy, this did not get in the way of the man some people claim is actually the "Stig" for his powerful drives down the wall. Back and forth they tussled like two enraged he-men, seeing who could hit one of the small dots off the ball first. In the end, after some very entertaining squash, and some missed opportunities, G-Bo went down 3-2.

and finally... just needing to win the final rubber 3-1....

on to the court strides that squash colossus that is G-String. GavinG looked awesome during the warm up. Looked magnificent during the first game where his low crisp shots had his opponent gasping in wonder. Easy first game. He looked invincible in the second game, with some elegant drives and boasts from the front. In fact, he was looking like a candidate for player of the year right up until 8-8 in the third. Then something happened. Some would blame that solar flares. Other the cell phone towers, but whatever it was, G-string decided it was time to change tactics. That led to the loss of the game. Not to worry. 3-1 gets us a team win. Well, turns out that the next game also went the way of Louis the Boef. so now it is 2-2. A quick points count should....oh crap. We have to win the final game by 22 points. Just win it for pride young man, we all cheered. Apparently this was not heard above the sound of the ball hitting the tin. 3-2 away.

So we lost.

Next week, the little engine begins again.

Match result : 7 - 12

5thth League vs Parkview

The two ringers John and Dave again dropped into 5th lge but this week came up trumps.

Chris on first cleaned up 3-0 against a fluish opponent

Dave then took on an old Chamber member, Dave Sauermann. Dave bamboozled Dave with great boasts to take a 2-0 lead, but then the tide started turning and Dave narrowly lost the 3rd (tweaking a hammie in the process). The 4th was lost 15-1 and his team-mates were urging the P-hen to throw in the towel – what was the point – especially before the Interprov weekend. But the P-hen had other ideas, he pulled himself towards himself and comfortably won the 5th, 15-6.

The Silver Fox, trying to get fit for Interprov toyed with his opponent – lost the 1st 22-20 but then won easily in the 5th(15-13)!!!!!

Captain Rich on last with nothing to play for also played for a 5-setter and also won 3-2.

So a nice 16-pointer against the old fo Parkview

Match result : 16 - 7

4th LEAGUE vs Wits

Jeff on first won 3-2 against Andreas Bergman (a five setter from the start)

Vivek next, - lost 3-1.

Phil won 3-0.

Ryan won 3-1

Match result : 13 - 6

3rd LEAGUE vs Wendywood

Wendywood arrived with big guns. Chris Holden at 4! Willem had the honour of playing Chris. He tried but Chris was too strong.

Francis played next against Peter Carey (I think these guys ring their order), was pretty 1 sided at first, but Peter came back and Francis started making mistakes. And even lost a game. Games were close, but Francis had it under control.

Mike played next against Dallas Meyer. Also was sort of there, but stuggled. Games close, but no cigar.

Gary played last against Jonny Orsmond. Won the first, but then narrowly lost the 2nd. Was 11-2 up in the 3rd and lost that one! (Maybe COTY?). Ended up losing the match.

Francis: 3-1

Gary: 1-3

Mike: 1-3

Willem: 0-3

Match Result: 5 - 13

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Randburg

Sad match report for ladies 4th. We lost to Randburg - they are the one team who annihilates us.

Caroline played one as Sonelle was away - lost 0 - 3 despite going to 13 - 15 in two games.

Pat played two and lost 0 - 3. She had been away for 3 weeks and so was still getting back into it.

Belinda lost 0 - 3

Chrisna got a game 1 - 3

Overall result 1 - 16

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs Parkview

Julie lost 0-3

Heather lost 2-3

Josephone lost 2-3

Jenny won 3-1

Overall result: 7 - 13