Final Results... SNAKES ALIVE

And so..................that was that for another year.

For those who weren't at the prizegiving yesterday, the sad news is that the "popular" Sidewinders were pipped at the post, not by one team but by 3 teams.

Well done to the Black Mambas
who slithered thr
ough at the death to beat the Vipers into 2nd place by 1 point and the Anacondas by 2 points.

Hope everybody enjoyed it, there were some great matches over the Summer League and culminated in a marathon doubles match yesterday between Gary and Paul vs George and Manie. Gary and Paul eventually winning 17-16 in the 5th.

Joanne Giles got the best record award and Chris van Zyl the worst record award.

of the year was awarded to George Palmer for his efforts at putting the club on the map by developing and maintaining the clubs web-site.

Keith Arnott got the COTY award for not only wearing the brightest kit on court yesterday but also for packing his racket away (and the ball) when 2-1 down in a doubles match. He had to be dragged back on court by his partner to finish the match - was a beer calling Keith?.

Watch the web-site over the next few days for the photos.

Thanks to everybody for playing - see you next year for the Handicap Tournament.

7th League vs. Parkview

Paul 3-0 down
Manie 3-2 down (after a great comeback)
Jacques 3-2 down (after being 2-0 up)

and of course....

George 3-2 up....

Match score: 7-14

6thLeague “B” vs Alberton

Chamber 6th “B” vs “We can’t handle away games Alberton”

The “B” team took the opportunity to do what the “A” team couldn’t do last week – give Alberton a sound thrashing.

Ryan (1) on first against Kevin. A long game for a 3-0 win

Dirk (4) took on Eugene on a spare court - losing the first but then came back to easily win 3-1

Flip (2) was on against Clayton. Flip relished the opportunity to play without slipping was able to play his special shots for a 3-0 win

Duncan (3) on last against Robert. After going one down in a close first, pretty much one way traffic after that for a 3-1 win.

All over by about 9 and Piet, the non playing Alberton captain looked very sour!

Match result : 16-2

6thLeague “A” vs Bryanston

After last weeks defeat and Captain Chris sunning himself in the Cape, the team was in no mood for generosity.

The Silver Fox on first at No 2 made mince-meat of Alan, winning 3-1

Shaun guesting for us at No 1 made life difficult for himself by going 2-1 down to “The gardener” before pulling himself towards himself and winning the last two, 9-4, 9-0.

Mergus at 3 had a toughish game but won 3-1 (a COTY nomination for Mergus here for wearing a Parkview t-shirt)

Same for Gavin also winning 3-1 (his excuse was a hard day at work – and to be fair he did look extremely tired)

Match result : 16-5

3rd LEAGUE vs UJ

We played UJ at UJ. You never know what you’ll get when you play them. First half they phoned to say they can’t get a team together, this half they had a strong team.

Jeff played first against (his future son in law) Craig and got out played while his daughter watched. But at least Jeff managed to win a game.

Francis played next against a very deceptive no. 1. Different guy from the first half, and Francis had a close win, winning 9-7 in the 5th.

Willem played next, not too difficult (guy came up from 6th) and won 3-0 although did battle a bit in the 2nd. (I think Willem is enjoying playing 4.)

Gary played last, needed to win or at least get a game or 2 for the team to win, but although being 7-3 up in the 3rd, just couldn’t manage a game. (Jeff said he was the under 19 champ not that long ago.)

So we lost by a game.

None of the UJ guys marked, most were gone by the end of the match. Those left didn’t know how to fill in a score sheet, or what to do with it. I’ll be surprised if the results are submitted.

Francisco 3-2

Gary 0-3

Jeff 1-3

Willem 3-0

Match Result: 7-10

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs Edenvale

Lisa won 3-0

Julie lost 2-3

Jenny lost 2-3

Caroline lost 1-3

Overall result 8-12

12th LEAGUE vs Pirates

A very confidence shattering loss at home to Pirates. The only thing that woke the team up was Des flirting with the waitress at the dinner after the game.

Brian playing No. 1 was first up and after a sterling effort controlling the game in the beginning and even holding the lead at times, eventually went down 0-3 to a very determined opponent.

Geoff playing No. 2. took it to 5 sets and looked as if he might take the 5th game and the match but youth held out and a couple of times into the tin for Geoff cost him the match.

Des playing No. 3 put up his usual fight to the death. After receiving a wake up call by losing the first game 1-9, Des called up his reserves and thrashed his opponent in the next three games taking the match 3-1.

John playing at No. 4 was not certain when his game actually started and even before he realised it was over, he had handed a 0-3 win to his opponent. It is doubtful if he even hit the ball above the tin more than a couple of times in the entire match.

Overall result loss 5 – 13.

Bob and Paddy joined the evening as spectators and drowned their sorrows at their teams disappointing loss with plenty of red wine and pizzas afterwards.

Final result 5 - 13

10th LEAGUE vs UJ

And so it came to pass that the intrepid and (thus far) victorious members of the 10th league traveled to the outer reaches of studentdom to play on the strangely urine coloured courts of UJ. This was to be a season maker or breaker as UJ were following fairly closely on our heels in the league standings. In the first round, we had managed a clean sweep against them, but with all games being very tight and down to the wire. This time around, the team composition was somewhat different, and the results were, well, read on:

No. 1 Nigel vs. Reedwaan: So I’d been warned about this guy being able to drop the ball from anywhere and teasing weird angles from all corners of the court. But still he surprised me and zap! 0-9 in the first. After some stern words and a little couching between games, I managed to tighten up and take the next two games without letting Reedwaan get into his stride. Should have pressed the advantage home though and finished it, but Reedwaan was coming up with some amazing shots and I was outclassed in the last 2. So first blood went to UJ 2-3.

No. 3 Tom vs. Alistair: Tom was busy picking his game up after a long absence and was up against a runner. Going down in the first two, Tom started hitting a good length in the third and took the game easily. His opponent bolstered up to take the fourth though. That made us two down with two to go.

No. 2 Phil A vs. Bradley: Phil started off with a dominant display and cowed Bradley into submission taking the first two games without really being challenged. Something changed in the third game though – perhaps it was the extended break that his opponent took. Bradley takes the third and comes back from 8-5 down to 8 apiece. Here Phil makes the big call and goes for 1… and wins the serve back. Only to lose it again and see the game go 8-9 against him. Hell hath no fury like a squash player losing a couple of games he should have won. Phil turned up the heat and blew Bradley away in the final game to take the match.

No. 4 Phil P vs. Phenyo: Phil was fresh back from a month of sun on French soil. And what a way to come back – the evening depended on him winning 3-0 to give the team a victory. So his raison d’etre was to crush a player dubbed “The Weird One” by Steph in the first round. It seems that elements of weirdness were still there but that didn’t prevent Phil from swarming to 2-0 up. Here his thoughts must have drifted to French wine flowing like nectar and to Mona Lisa’s smile because the weird one made a comeback – moving around the court to pick up everything that Phil put out there. Phenyo took the next two games and that was it for the team. Sacre bleu! But Phil could still salvage our pride and deny UJ some points by taking the match. Which is what he did by staging a coup d’etat in the final game and leave the weird one crushed and defeated. Good work after a 5 week lay-off.

End result was a loss, albeit a narrow one. Lets see whether we can clean up in our final two games and win this league thing.


No. 1 Nigel lost 2-3: 0-9, 9-2, 9-6, 0-9, 2-9

No. 2 Phil A won 3-2: 9-5, 9-6, 5-9, 8-9, 9-2

No. 3 Tom lost 1-3: 3-9, 4-9, 9-1, 6-9

No. 4 Phil P won 3-2: 9-4, 9-6, 3-9, 4-9, 9-6

Final result 9-12

9th league vs. Wits

Our rematch with Wits was a win 16-5

Graham Vermaak won 3-2 after been down 2-0

Peter Fillmore won 3-2

Peter Le Roux won 3-1 Peter has won all his 5 matches this season.

Dave Hamilton won 3-0 He played his father this week.

Match result: 16-5

6ththLeague “B” vs Edenvale

Chamber vs “slippery Edenvale”

On the long road to the East the radio played an old Simon and Garfunkel favourite “slip sliding away”. I had no idea that this was going to be the order of the night. Firstly we were going to slip and slide around the court and then that we would be slipping down the league as we lost another match.

No 2 Ryan on first – just losing the first 8-10 then playing some good consistent squash forcing his opponent to make errors 8-10, 9-2, 9-4, 9-1 (3-1)

No 3 Gavin on next – a big first game where we both had opportunities for the game but eventually losing 9-10, could not come back in the second 3-9, tried in the third bit the little reverse drops took their toll 7-9 (0-3)

No 4 Flip on next – Flip our runner and quick turner struggled with the slippery court (no quick turning) lost the first 5-9, decided to switch courts and turn the game. Took the next 3 9-6, 9-6, 9-1 (3-1)

No 1 Chris – No pressure for Chris he had to win or get 2 games for a points count. Chris up against the youngster Dylan, the slippery road was in sight after the first game 0-9 down. It never got any better 6-9 and 2-9 (0-3). No points count we had already lost on games.

Match result : 6-10

8th League vs. Old Eds

Bad Night at Black Rock

"Well it shouldn't take you to long to write the report" was the spot on comment coming from Mike H after the saga.

Vs Olds Eds away last night had only two redeeming features --- our team spirit as good as ever with the full squad pitching up to support an away game --- and the beverages afterwards were cold.

On first was Mark who put up a good fight but went down 1 - 3.

Next Bruce and exactly the same story and scoreline.

Then Doc Fallon and more of exactly the same.

Last myself and again the same --- except for the score. It changed to 0 - 3.

So overall 3 - 16 down and just one of those bad nights. And so too a final farewell to any league ambitions. My guess is we'll finish around 4th.

Match score: 3 - 16

7th League vs. Bryanston Sports

No report but I know they won 16-3

Match score:16 - 3

6ththLeague “A”(Absolutely Aweful) vs Alberton

Having rearranged the 1st round match to play away at Alberton due to load-shedding, we expected a home game. However the Alberton captain disagreed saying that we must stick to the schedule and anyway if they had to play away they’d only have 2 players. So in the interest of sportsmanship we agreed to the long-trek south again.

The Silver Fox arrived first and was thrown on immediately at No 2. Cruising to 6-1 up in the first a blip occurred and a 9-6 loss. Where was his support crew – nowhere to be seen yet. Then cruised to 7-1 up in the 2nd and the same blip hit, 9-7 loss. Still no team to give advice. After pulling himself towards himself he raced to 7-1 up yet again, surely the same blip couldn’t hit again, Think again – down 9-7 and a 3-0 loss. Then the team pitched up – asking why I didn’t serve more etc.

Gavin on next against a young maisie from the south (daughter of Phil de Jager for those who know him). Gavin ran her ragged for the first few points and she was panting hard, this was going to be easy. However, she kept running and kept hitting cross-court nicks and 3 games later she was 2-1 up. However Gavin pulled himself toward himself and won the 4th and then very closely a 5th. This was probably Gav’s hardest match of the season apart from his single loss to Old Eds.

On next our banker at No 1, unbeaten this season captain Rich, however Richs’ nerves appeared to be shot after an aborted landing from 50metres above the ground at PE airport. Rich came up against a fired-up opponent and went down 3-1.

Eventually Mergus pitched up after a pleasant couple of hours sight-seeing tour of Alberton and surrounding suburbs and came up against a youngster easily 30 years younger than him. The youngster floated round the court picking up Mergus’ boasts (his best and only winning shot) at will. Things looked bleak as the first game was lost and the 2nd looking decidedly dodgy, however Mergus dug in terrier style and the tide started to turn. Eventually the 30 years experience started to count and Mergus won in 5 much to the disgust of his opponent.

So the 1st loss of the season for 6th lge – I guess it had to happen some time. We should have insisted on playing at home – that will teach us to be sporting

Match result : 7-13

3rd LEAGUE vs Wendywood

Seems some have already finished for the year, well, this was our 4th last. We’re lying 3rd now, having lost the last 3 matches.

We played Wendywood at Chamber. Jeff played first against Alan Bailey, who beat him last time, but this is the new Jeff, and managed a comfortable 3-0 win.

Francis played next against Warren, who wasn’t in the game. Francis cleaned up, 3-0.

Willem played next against Deon. Willem hasn’t played for 3 weeks so played at no 4. He started well and won the first comfortably. 2nd wasn’t as easy but he managed to win that and the 3rd. Another 3-0.

Gary went on last against Gordon Ashby. Was 2-0 up but at 4 all in the 3rd the wheels came off. Gary lost 8-10 in the 5th. At least we managed 14 points.

Francisco 3-0

Gary 2-3

Jeff 3-0

Willem 3-0

Match Result: 14-3

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs Alberton

Liza won 3-0

Julie lost 0-3

Claire won 3-0

Jenny won 3-0

Overall result 12-3

12th LEAGUE vs Wanderers

Brian at no.1 started well winning the first, then losing the second, recovers to win the third and then runs out of steam to lose 2-3.

Geoff at no. 2 struggles and lost the first 2 games and then comes back strongly winning the next 2 (9-0 and 9-1) only to lose the fifth. Also 2-3.

Des at no.3 and Paddy at 4 frustrated with themselves and not good at all to both lose 0-3.

Final result 4-16, only a slight improvement from 0-16 in the first round.

Final result 4-16

11th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

1. Johan Carstens lost 1-3

2. Greg Erasmus lost 1-3

3. Claude Klopper lost 2-3 (marathon)

4. Roger Johnson lost 2-3

Final result 4-16

10th LEAGUE vs Randburg

It seems as if we’ve been infiltrated. The Randburg team has been doing reconnaissance for their Gauteng League matches. To the extent that they read the Chambers blog from the first leg of the league and were none too impressed with the match report submitted. Words like “disparaging” and “scathing” were bandied about. It seems as if the delicate feelings of the Randburg contingent were deeply hurt and the scars may take some time to heal. Unbeknownst to me, the blog actually has a wider audience outside of the four walls (or maybe a few more than that) of the Chamber. So I’d like to put a disclaimer – learnt this word from Mr Bowen – into this report to the effect that claims of any physical or emotional damage caused by this report, misrepresentations of character, errata found herein or general feelings of discontent regarding the economy, the political situation, crime, global warming or the service at MacDonalds can be communicated directly to the Club Chairman, John Shannon a.k.a the Grey Fox, who will be sure to find a timely and satisfactory solution to all grievances. No responsibility whatsoever shall be placed on the burdened shoulders of the team captain and scribe. That done then, on to the report proper.

No. 2 Phil A vs. Graeme (alias Tequila Express): a strange game to be a spectator to, mostly from the point of view of trying to figure out Graeme’s strategy. On reflection it looked as if he was following the old school of thought that says you should let your opponent get up about 7 points in each game before you make it onto the board. Almost worked too, taking Phil by surprise each time and almost making him gift the games to the Express out of sympathy. Luckily our man pulled through and it seems that the Express was at the wrong station… 3-1 to Phil.

No. 1 Nigel vs. Ed (alias Ringer): despite the obvious conclusion that his nickname comes from time spent in jail, it’s actually a reference to the fact that 1st league was full and so Ed has settled for 10th. In the home leg of the league, Tom managed to get 9 points when he played against the Ringer. It was my intention to do better than this and maybe sneak a game off him. But these guys were clearly sore at the previous match report and the Ringer set to work putting me through the wringer (Did you see that? What I just did there? The pun on words? No doubt that this is Pulitzer material. Either that or I’ll be held for manslaughter for the collective pulmonary embolisms caused by the badness of the paragraph. And yes, I know badness isn’t really a word. Is it? Whatever). Having said that, these were the hardest 5 points I’ve ever had to play for but that didn’t prevent a thrashing. 0-3 against Nigel.

No. 4 Tom vs. Sven (alias Jack Sparrow): Tom hadn’t played for about 3 months and didn’t know what to expect from his first time on court since the cretaceous period. As luck would have it, the Sparrow himself hadn’t spent a whole lot of time chasing the ball recently and may have more comfortable wielding a cutlass than a racquet in the first game. Tom was hitting the ball cleanly and getting good length and this saw him through a second game that could otherwise have gone the Sparrow’s way. And so it was into the third game with both players puffing a bit from the lack of courtside action. Tom cleaned up here for an encouraging return to the league. 3-0 to Tom.

No. 3 Steph vs. Stewart (alias Grumpier): So it was left to Steph to seal up the win for us. From the offset it was a physical game and these two went at it (squash, that is) like Foreman and Ali. Steph wasn’t impressed when the markers call went against him to give his opponent an 8-7 lead in the first game. The two players then traded many a rally to take the score to 9-9. Here, at the end of an extended rally, Steph made a plaintive (and dubious) call for a let. When this wasn’t awarded, the death stares that went the marker’s way could have melted titanium. So that was it, 9-10 down in the first game. The second game was equally hard fought, this time going 10-8 to Steph though. This seemed to break Grumpier somewhat and Steph played some superb length, interspersed with the odd delicate drop to take the next two games and the match.

Summary: Nigel: 0-3: 2-9, 2-9, 1-9

Phil: 3-1: 9-5, 9-7, 7-9, 9-6

Steph: 3-1: 9-10, 10-8, 9-6, 9-6

Tom: 3-0: 9-0, 9-3, 9-7

Final result 12-5

9th league vs. Western Rackets

First on was Dave Hamilton playing at number 4. His opponent, playing a combination of tennis, squash and table tennis, ran amok and quickly took the first two games. After seeking some advice from his colleagues, he came out firing and won the third, only to come unstuck in the fourth. He felt the marker may have been a little unfair for turning down two appeals for strokes, a suggested that the marker should attend a refresher marking course.

Next on was captain Fillmore at number 2. Coming off a defeat away to Edenvale last week, albeit at No.1, he had a bit of pressure on him to perform. He started well, playing good squash and was soon 2 games up and a match point at 8-2. His opponent then rallied to take the third 10-8 and Peter was contemplating giving up squash after forfeiting such a good position. However the troops rallied from the sideline and he picked up his game to win the fourth, taking the game 3-1. All square.

On third was Peter Le Roux, making a comeback with his new bionic arm. Following a stunning 3-0 win against Edenvale and rescuing his team from a near disaster, he again produced some scintillating squash to outplay a rather useful and more youthful opponent 3-0.

Finally Graham Vermaak come on to round off the evening, needing just one game to secure us the victory. After a flying start and claim the first game, he came unstuck against a slightly built but hard hitting opponent. Although evenly matched, the week away trekking in the Drakensberg took the edge off Graham's game and he lost 1-3.


Graham Vermaak 1-3

Pete Fillmore 3-1

Pete Le Roux 3-0

Dave Hamilton 1-3

Match result: 10-7

8th League vs. Southern Suburbs

Chairman John writes “7th & 8th leagues are putting in a big push for trophies in the second half winning all their matches comfortably so far (is it coincidence that George B has not played in these matches!!!!)”

Lawyer George replies “Alright, so I gave the rest a show in for a few weeks but the maestro is back tomorrow. (God help me if we lose.)” We hope God helps him and that the coincidence is not maintained because the team performed like the latest Springbok jersey. What a calamity, only 5 points, not really championship challenging material. Southern Suburbs, in the bottom half of the league pulled out a team with a pleasing blend of young and old, 17 to 60+; great to see some youngsters playing this grand game. George who played under severe pain from a raw, skin revealing under sole, started the night well breaking down the mind of an enthusiastic 18 year old, suntanned Thathe to take the rubber. Next on was Mike also playing a youngster less than a third of his age. 2 love down and match point down, and he rallies back to 2 all but then his legs give up and Mike tamely looses the 5th. Match at one all, but up in games. Oops, on goes Nick tripping over the walking stick of his 60+ opponent on his way into the court. Nick was sporting even longer shorts than last week and making yet another fashion statement claim of best dressed squash player at a previous summer league. They must have weighed him down because he wobbled and bobbled around the court, swatting non existent flies, only managing 8 points in total. Things’ not looking good and it was over to Mark to pull it out of the hat for the team and God-fearing George. Unfortunately Mark had a bad night and his opponent a good night. Match lost and the team hopes their poor performance is a mere hiccup on the roller coaster ride to championship glory.

The team wants to wish Paul a speedy recovery following 2 days in hospital after conking out at home; looks like we will be needing you.

Squash Tip of the Week

The serve is the easiest shot to play as the ball direction is under your control. Difficult to ace one but this does not prevent starting the game with an advantage, by getting the ball to at least bounce off the side wall.

#1: Mark vs. Trevor, 0-3: 3-9, 4-9, 4-9

#2: Nick vs. J Marques, 0-3: 0-9, 5-9, 3-9

#3: Mike vs. Darren, 2-3: 9-10, 0-9, 10-9, 9-7, 2-9

#4: Mike vs. K Thathe, 3-1: 9-2 3-9, 9-6, 10-8

Match score: 5 - 13

7th League vs. Wits

No report but they did win (I think)

Match score: 11-9

6thth League “B” vs Parkview

It seems like we are making sure of our B status by getting thumped by Parkview.

Chris on at 1 – Says he is still busy acclimatising after being stuck up in the mountains of Peru. Lost the first 2, came back after a lot of hard work to win the third and then the tank was empty. Lost 1-3

Gavin on at 2 – a few points later Gavin off at 2. I never even when to the mountains and got thumped 0-3

Dirk on at 3 – Plenty of pressure to save a bit of face. Dirk takes the first game fairly comfortably. The second is more difficult but after plenty of running Dirk wins (Duncan starting to worry about his game). Dirk decides that he needs a little more respite from the night duty at home so cannot finish this off early and throws the next two games. The 5th was an up and down affair with Dirk emerging as the winner 3-2. Great match Dirk.

Duncan on at 4 – Dirk should have kept the pressure on Duncan. Duncan knowing we could not win relaxed. Duncan’s claim to fame for the evening was getting more points than the captain (2 more) and it was all over 0-3

Match result : 4-14

6thth League “A”(Awe Inspiring) vs Old Parks

John was spared the thought of playing Cheyna Tucker after his narrow victory in the first half knowing that she was only getting better and he was only getting older. Anyway John was up first and barely broke a sweat against a gallant but outclassed Gareth. (3-0)

Fergus next up next. Fergus lost the first game dismally and all three of his team mates agreed he had played crap! Duly castigated by his team mates, Fergus upped his game considerably to take the next three with consummate ease. We agreed that the next time he played, we would castigate him before he goes on court as it seems to have the desired effect. (1-3)

Gavin up next against Frik. It was no contest as Gavin continued his good form. (3-0)

Let’s just say that there are players we enjoy playing and those we do not. This match fell into the latter category. With the match already won there was nothing riding on the game. As a result, I was taking it a touch easy in the first and lost it before I wiped my eyes out. Things went pear shape at 8-7 in the second when Tyrone hit a ball that everyone (including his team mate) thought had clipped the tin and he simply walked off the court convinced he had won the game. The marker (his team mate) would not over rule him and allowed the point to stand. It went from bad to worse in the next games as call after call was challenged (with Fergus now marker) and the game resembled more of rugby than squash. The match went to five sets and I eventually was lucky to prevail on my fourth match point. In the final analysis, a very unenjoyable and unsatisfying win. (3-2)

Match result : 16-3

3rd LEAGUE vs Parkview

Something has to be done about this team. We need some good players urgently if we plan to win this league. We played Parkview last night and got a hiding. Jeff played first against Michael; the youngster whose father sits there with a spreadsheet gathering stats of each shot. Jeff played his heart out, he played the best I’ve seen him play in weeks. Jeff caught up to 8 all in the 5th from being well down, but youth prevailed and Jeff just couldn’t finish.

Francis played next against Steven, and was 2-0 down before he knew what was happening. But he dug in and managed to win the next 3 convincingly.

Trevor played next against Aidan. Imagine that. Trevor was also down 2-0 before he got into the game. He managed to get the third and caught up to 8 all in the fourth from being well down, only to lose it and the match. Pity.

Gary played last against the very active youngster Sibusiso. Gary was out played and lost in 3.

Willem, well he turned up missing.

Francisco 3-2

Gary 0-3

Jeff 2-3

Trevor 1-3

Match Result: 6-14 (dismal)

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Wits

A first for this year. We beat Wits 16 - 0.

Overall result 16-0

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs BYE

Lisa won 3-2

Julie lost 1-3

Jenny lost 1-3

Lynda won 3-1

Overall result 8-11

12th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

No. 1 Brian in a tough game but leading 2-1 and up 7-1 in the 4th, loses concentration to take the game into a five setter. He unfortunately runs out of steam and loses 2-3. His first loss of the season.

No. 2 Geoff back to form and a convincing 3-0 win.

No. 3 Paddy tried but could not do too much and a 1-3 loss.

Games at 6 all and result depends on John to repeat heroics from last week. Unfortunately this was not to be and despite a good fight against opponent who played no. 1 in the first round match, John went down 1-3.

Final result 7-12

11th LEAGUE vs Germiston

Ongoing woes of 11th continue against Germiston away ...

1 Brennan won 3-1 (only bright spot)

2 Johan lost 0-3

3 Roger lost 0-3

4 Keith lost 1-3

Final result 4-13

10th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

This match report will last about as long as the games did on Wednesday evening. We were up against an Edenvale side weakened by ailment and shortage of players.

No. 4 Steph vs Aruna: Steph was up first and must have been in a hurry because he only dropped 7 points in wrapping the match up. Steph’s explanation was that he expected a tough Master’s game the next evening and had to preserve his strength. 3-0 to Steph.

No. 1 Phil A vs ?? (Dean, I think): Didn’t see this game, but am told that Phil played very well against a 16-odd year old letting his opponent make the mistakes. Probably the only one of the Edenvale team who put up a good fight, but Phil was on top form and took the match 3-1.

No. 3 Nigel vs Andre: Despite almost allowing Andre to take the first game, the rest of the match was a formality and it was 3-0 to me.

No. 2 Lyal vs Christine: Christine was a little under the weather and struggled to get around the court. This was just what Lyal needed and sent the ball to all corners of the court with some good lobs and signature drops. A short match went to Lyal 3-0.

It was all over by 8pm, so we moved on to Picoballa’s to solve the problems of the nation. And drink some beer.

Final result 16-1

9th league vs. Edenvale

We played Edenvale and won 10-7 as follows:-

1) Peter Fillmore Lost 0-3

2) Peter Le Roux Won 3-0

3) Dave Hamilton Lost 2-3

4) Gavin Martin Won 3-1

Match result: 10-7

8th League vs. Edenvale

On went Mike and as they say in Cricket circles, “did not bother the scorer” not registering a single point in the first game. What a wally; but things improved and despite a broken string he managed to beat the Knight Rider, who shared motor biking stories with our Vesparian; which leads into the joke. What’s the difference between putting your hand down the front of Dolly Parton’s blouse and riding a Vespa? You feel more of a t1t riding a Vespa! Next on was Mark complete with rent a crowd, his son Stephen. This must have spurred him on as he played a superb game that has catapulted him to number one next week. His “never stops talking” opponent Mike Lawrensen, tried tripping and using the frame only but this did not deter Mark who executed the world’s first ever 4 wall boast successfully, followed by several topspin drops. A shot revered by many in the table tennis arena. Next on was Nick who was making a fashion statement with his shorts (actually they look like longs against his fox terrier type legs). The team are not sure what the statement was or is but the scribe has been tasked with finding out. Nic played well and leveled the head to head matches between them to 2 all. Greg, shaking off the flu and a nice wife, kept plonking the ball in the tin and managed to dot all the i’s on the Schickerling, Bowen & Hesselink sponsored court. Last match of the night was a humdinger; primeval, man vs. woman. After Bruce had stopped ogggggling his opponent’s physique whilst loosing the first game, excellent tactical squash took over and the match went to five with an exhibition of retrieving, delicate lobbing, trickle boasting etc. It toed and froed with the well deserved winner Pam coming out on top. Nick commented that she was an orthodox player; what else would you expect from a Greek.

The last three matches have been 16, 14 and 14 and it is hoped that the winning streak can be maintained giving the team a chance of winning the league. On the latest published results from our Chairman John, Edenvale B are the log leaders but this is not a true reflection of the state of play. Edenvale A and ourselves have only been credited with 10 out of 11 matches. If the missing scores are included (Edenvale A got a 14 and we also got a 14) the log standings would be first Edenvale A with 131 points and us third with 124 points only 4 points behind Edenvale B. Having thrashed Edenvale B tonight, making them non title contenders, it could well come down to the last match of the season to decide the champions. It will be at home against the present log leaders Edenvale A who are only 7 points ahead. We want to emulate our 3rd, 5th, 6th and 10th league teams, who are to be congratulated.

Squash Tip of the Week

There are a couple of ways to take the speed off the ball. The accepted method is to hold back on the shot with soft hands but in eighth league the more favoured method is to use the frame. Slightly lower percentage but it comes at the same cost as the strings, so use it.

#1: Bruce vs. Pam Dollenberg, 2-3: 1-9, 9-6, 5-9, 9-7,3-9

#2: Mark vs. Mike Lawrenson, 3-0: 9-2, 9-3, 9-4

#3: Nick vs. Greg Whyte, 3-0: 9-7, 9-3,10-8

#4: Mike vs. Clint (when written in capitals the L runs into the I and can be embarrassing) Nel, 3-1: 0-9, 9-5, 9-7, 9-4

Match score: 14 - 4

7th League vs. Southern Suburbs

Captain Loake 1st.Played some guy at No, 3 that ran quite a bit.Managed to lob him which he did'nt seem to enjoy-won 3/2

Next on George,who we all thought would win 3-0 looking at the first game,but his opponent kept on running and ended up winning.Chamber loosing 2/3........match all square

Jacques on next at no.4 not a bad game unfortunately he went down 1/3

Next on superman Manie needing a 3/0 to win.Manie's superb fitness was unmatchable,his opponent complaining that there was too much water on the court seeping from Manies forehead.After Manie winning 3/1, because his opponent could'nt run any more,we ran out winners on points......11/9 to 7th league

Match score: 11-9

6thth League “B” vs Bryanston Sports

Are we allowed to nominate opponents for COTY awards? If so, I would to nominate Paul, Bryanston’s number three, being the only member to be present at the start he had no choice to play first, that is before he realised he forgot his shoes…

First up, Dirk vs the German, the replacement nr 3 and went up 3-0.

Flippie vs Stephen, outclassed his opponent 3-1. Flippie took a breather after the first two games.

Mr Vey, our number four for the evening played Paul after he finally got his shoes on. Mr. Vey’s last match was in March and it was showing, though entertaining and unfortunately went down 0-3.

All came down to Chris van Heeswijk, playing Alan at number 1. Now, Chris himself has not played for three weeks, but this did not stop him from outlasting his opponent. A good 3-2 and Chamber is still in the habit of winning!

Match result : 12-6

6thth League “A”(Awe Inspiring) vs Old Eds

Squash rule #23 – if you don’t get to squash on time, you risk being bumped up and playing in a higher position than you expected.

While under clear and unambiguous instructions from his captain, the Silver Fox took it upon himself to drop himself to number two and proceeded, nevertheless, to have a tough match against the lanky Forbes. John made a meal of what should have been pretty straight forward by losing the first two games 8-10. With the pressure now on, John was able to pull himself towards himself and rattled off the next three games for the loss of 5 points. (3-2)

Clearly John’s decision was influenced by the sight of the young whipper snapper playing one, Arne. Getting on the court with the youngster, I knew that I was in for a tough one. This guy was quick and would not stop running (and that was just the warm up)! I knew that this was not a four or five setter I was going to win, so set about mixing it up as best I could and frustrated him to take the first game 9-5. The second was a lot tighter and could have gone either way but I eventually prevailed 9-7. Mistakes were Arne’s downfall in the third and I was very relieved to wrap it up in three (3-0).

Sadesh graciously filled in at four against Jason who was at least double his girth. Sadesh had hardly played in the last three months and it showed as he battled to find his line and length. While he may have lacked a little in his game, he was tenacious and managed to eke out a game for us before succumbing (1-3).

Finally Gavin B to finish off the evening playing a sublime first game, losing only a point. However, Gavin as able to combine the sublime and the ridiculous and made a real meal of the second game before eventually taking it 10-8 and then losing the next two, both for the addition of three points in each game. In previous years Gavin would have wilted under the pressure but Gavin is made of much sterner stuff these days and pulled it out of the fire to take the final game. (3-2)

Overall – 13 - 7

We finished off the evening watching some unbelievable squash between Gareth Schnehage and Paul Atkinson. This is how squash should be played!

Match result : 13-7

5th LEAGUE vs Parkview

Vevek 3-1
Phil 2-3
Dave 1-3
Shaun 0-3

Parkview brought in some serious ringers to make sure we don't win the league!!
Vevek had a brilliant match to beat the Runner-up of the Lower Leagues Tournament.
Phil was unlucky to lose in 5 - close match.
Dave had to play some 9 year old who was all over him like a rash.
Shaun had no chance against Merik, who played at 1 in the 1st round. Told you they loaded their side

Match result : 6-13

3rd LEAGUE vs Old Eds

We played Old Eds last night who were lying 5th at the turn around, but obviously want to try win this league. They switched their order around, Mike Bester didn’t want to play Willem, Paul wanted to play Jeff and so I played Mike, Jeff played Paul, Willem played Dean and Francis played Mark.

In the first round Mark and Francis played too, Francis won 3-1. This time Mark managed to win 2 games, and get 7 points in the 5th.

Willem played Dean, who beat Willem both times last year, but Willem was hot and his straight drops did their damage. Willem won 3-0.

Gary played Mike Bester who is very sharp – he’s training for the world masters and was totally in control. Some really horrific calls from the marker (Dean) compounded the problem and Mike won a comfortable 3-0.

Jeff played Paul, who he beat in the first round, but could only manage 1 game this time round. And he was 1-8 down in the game he did win. He was well down in the 4th too and caught up to 8 all again, but just couldn’t finish.

We ended up losing by 1 game. It’s sad, as we beat them comfortably in the first half.

Francisco: 3-2

Willem: 3-0

Gary: 0-3

Jeff: 1-3

Match Result: 7-10

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Dainfern

In fact ladies 4th is steadily improving. 1 point against Old Eds, 4 against Pirates and 6 this week against Dainfern

We would have done better but they had two 13 year stars who beat Caroline and our new player Sonelle

But Chrisna and Jenny both won and in fact we beat them on points, but lost on games.

Jenny 3-0

Caroline 0-3

Chrisna 3-0

Sonelle 0-3

Overall result 6-8

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE 01 vs BYE

Overall result

Gauteng Lower Leagues Tournament 2008 - Results

The final results of the Lower League Tournament held recently at the Chamber were as follows:

In the Men’s A-section final, Russel Holland beat Ryan Wallis 3-1.

In the Men’s B-section final, Eugene Mare beat Big George Palmer 3-2

In the Men’s C-section final, Nigel Morgan beat Tinashe Hove 3-0

The Ladies A-section was won by Trudi Hansan followed by Cindy Venter in 2nd place and in the Ladies B-section Mary-Ann Summerfield beat Joanne Giles-Malan 3-2

Other prize-winners were Dave Peacock, Francois van der Berg, Richard Borain and Caroline Tuckey who won the Plate events.

Thank you to the sponsors – Stuie Simons (Chrometco), Colyn Dee (Pro Supex) and Phil Maxton.

A big thank you to everybody who entered and made the tournament a success and so easy to run.

Here are some of the pics....


Chamber Squash the winner!

This squash match, billed as the “Chamber Old Boys versus Chamber New Boys” was played and eaten and drunk on 7th May 2008 rolling over (literally for some) to the morning of the 8th. It was the brainchild of a Mr. Andy Barnes who wanted to go out with a bang (keep dreaming) and several memories (including a team photo of the Ken Raine, Andy Barnes, Laurie Moth and John Barton; all with wigs; representing Chamber’s only international tour to Botswana) of his playing days at the Chamber of Mines Sports Club squash section, and latterly the Chamber Exiles Squash Club prior to his departure to somewhere near Port Alfred. Two sides of a baker’s dozen were assembled so that a definitive result could be forthcoming; ha! ha! As per usual the fidelity of the Old Boys under the captaincy of Andy Barnes came through and the entire team pitched up plus a couple of retired squashies, notably Ken Raine and Vernon Ward of the hippy, hippy, (this new one works wonders!) shake, shake fame. The New Boys under the captaincy of Dave Peacock pitched up with one less and the chap that let him down had obviously Fall on (spot the attempted pun!) or rather off the bus.

Anybody recognise these reprobates??

Matches commenced on several courts simultaneously. Michael took on the George and lost despite using a well known slowing down tactic of driving the ball up the opponents **se which should have slowed him down but only had the reverse effect of increasing the chatter on court (lawyers must be paid by the word) and resolution to win. On the adjacent court Steph was wupping Dave who had prevented us from naming his team the Young Boys. Incidentally these two former old boys Steph and Mike started 15th league together in 1980.

On the back courts the well dressed, yellow jacketed and dark skirted Glynis was trying her best against Andile. The “nearly as light as Glynis” version pulled off the win and shared that another 10 kilos will do the trick!

The Gavin’s from both sides split the spoils, Gavin B taking out Andy and Gavin M losing to Digby respectively. In a New Boy fashion; a sign of the times; it was noted that there was little respect from Bowes for the departing and captaining Andy.

John Worwood having rested his walking stick at the entrance eased past Paul and Laurie likewise over Graham, game-wise and hair-wise.

Paul, self appointed Liar dice champion, took out battling Manie with the same score as Ron against Gavin with a few heart stopping shots.

Whilst Chris was demolishing the strutting Peacock on the glass backs, court 4 gallery was heavily populated watching a typical John Shannon match. The other reason for the crowd could have been that it was close to the bar! A shag*ed (thanks for the name loan Ron) John was down and out against a Ryan - oops was that a drop shot –Chegwidden but pulled back to 2 all and for once didn’t scrape a 3-2 victory.

John Schulkins’ opponent Paul Fallon didn’t pitch and the captains decided not to include the walkover in the overall score (very sporting Andy). The last match on court 5 (the one with the new door hinges) was played between Fergus and Richard. The guile, style, finesse and class of Fergus nearly prevailed over the drifting concentration of Richard losing in a tight five setter.

So the overall match was drawn 6 matches all and 26 games all and rumour has it, but the score sheet cannot be found, the points were also even!

The obligatory team photo was taken on court 4, after dragging from the ladies’ changing rooms (lack of hot water in the men’s, dodgy reason!) one Fergus, complete with bulging towel. The prize giving was presided over by our Chairman who presented the “Andy Barnes” trophy to the joint winning captains and Andy lay down the gauntlet for a repeat in 2009, venue Port Alfred?

The traditional Chamber Tequila toast was ably demonstrated by 3 Old Boys and followed by a shabby effort from the New Boys. More practises required and how does Digby talk and do the drink/lemon/salt thing at the same time?

A super, memorable evening was rounded off with a sumptuous chicken curry meal and more drinks.

The liar dice were then retrieved from the depths of the bar cupboards, last having seen the light of day many years ago. The less said the better from here on but rumour has it that the three presentations given by Fergus to his board the following morning were incomprehendable.

Old Boys Result New Boys

Chris van Heeswijk 3-2 Dave Peacock
Fergus Macleod 2-3 Richard Cilliers
John Shannon 2-3 Ryan Chegwidden
Ron Hagger 3-2 Gavin Geldenhuys
Andy Barnes 0-3 Gavin Bowes
Paul Loake 3-2 Manie Krause
Michael Hunt 1-3 George Bowen
Laurie Moth 3-1 Graham Vermaak
Steph Stephansen 3-1 Dave Fleming
John Worwood 3-0 Paul Dixon
Gavin Martin 0-3 Digby Chapman
Glynis Prosser 1-3 Andile Maseko