Match Reports March 23rd-25th

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE vs Wits

Wits cancelled

Overall result : 16 - 0

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Randburg

Jenny won 3-2

Josephine won 3-0

Lynda won 3-0

Kelly lost 0-3

Overall result: 12 - 5

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 Ladies 4th LEAGUE 03 vs BYE

Overall result:

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1st  LEAGUE vs Old Eds

This was a great result against one of the favourites to win the league

Kelvin won 3-0

Francesco lost 1-3

Mwansa lost 0-3

Stan won 3-1

Match won by 5 points

Match Result: 9 - 7

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2nd LEAGUE vs Old Eds

2^nd vs Old Eds (again)

We played the 2^nd of Old Eds’ 2 sides in 2^nd.

(A still sick) Doug played the crafty old Rob Halstead. Doug started strong but his chest let him down and he couldn’t run for 5 games.

Mike played next against Craig (Willem’s old school mate) and managed 1 game, even though he had the best looking gallery shouting for him.

Gary then played Greg ‘The Beast’ and managed to run Greg down to win 3-1.

Jeff went on last, having to win 3-1 for a win, and 3-2 for a points count out. Jeff was 2-1 up and 14-10. But lost that game. Next game Jeff was down 13-14 and managed to win. So it went to points and we lost by 9.

1)      Mike 1-3

2)      Jeff 3-2

3)      Gary 3-1

4)      Doug 2-3

 Match result : 9 - 11

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4th League  vs Bryanston

4^th  League team has an excellent result winning all matches against a somewhat weak Bryanston team. Congratulations to Flip on his first league win of the season. Final result against a very demoralised Bryanston side was 16 – 0.

Ryan,Chegwidden 3                        vs           Schalk,Badenhorst 0

Vevek Iyer 3                                       vs            Steven Hughes 0

Phillip Van Antwerpen 3               vs            Alan Agianenz 0

Dave Peacock 3                                 vs            Paul Siddall 0

Match result : 16 - 0

5th^th League  “the G Team” vs Bryanston

TinyG on first  took on BIG Andre. This was the “Immovable Force” against the “Immovable Force”. There was about 300kg on court and it looked very small. Anyway Tiny walked away with the 1^stgame but Andre started to warm up cutting everything off and eventually winning 3-1 with some unplayable shots.

LG next took on Che the roadrunner. This was a bit of a marathon with Che questioning most of the impeccable refereeing decisions (guess who was marking). LG  managed to outrun his oppo 3-1.

KingG then went on and demolished his oppo 3-0.

That left G-spot to win a game for a team win. That was accomplished easily and followed another  gentle 4 games to get fit winning 3-2

Match result : 13 - 6

6th League A vs Parkview

After a big struggle for players.

Bowes at 1, lost 3-2.

McLeod at 2, won 3-0.

Geldenhuys won,  3-0

Stu won 3-0

Match result : 14 - 3

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6th B League vs Old Eds

Having borrowed 2 players from 6A to field a team…………………Old Eds couldn’t raise a team.

Match score: 16 - 0

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7th A League vs. Southern Suburbs

We played on Court 2 and competed for crowd participation with a minor attraction on the adjacent court of our all blacks; not the rugby team but our first league side, beating Old Eds.

A late start opened with Mike who holds a 100% record. Unfortunately a losing record that is, and so he was out to win a match. He started well against the younger of the Father Son combination and took the first by a whisker, saving three game points. Second no problem then the thought of winning his first 2011 league match made his legs go wobbly and his brain wander. Not that he has much of one in the first place! He got his act together and won the fourth, ending with a 6,000 stroke rally that befitted the chap’s next door efforts.

Stephan played a snooker ball headed player. A pink. Steph played squash in the first game then changed it to table tennis or was it synchronised swimming. Lost the second after being 14-11 up; a pivotal point. The next two saw the crowd migrate to the next court as Steph got his attendance certificate, losing the next two.

Paul played the Dad. Some superb retrieving, deft lobs from the back of the court over his opponent on the way to the front wall and serving out at 13-all in the fourth made for a seesaw game which went Paul’s way, 3-2.

All we needed were 2 games as we were ahead on points. On goes our fashion guru, man about town and MVP. Nic’s opponent, Kyle, is one of the Southern Suburbs stalwarts having been a member for 34 years and losing to Mike H 24 years ago as 20 year old, in a slightly higher league. Despite some valiant efforts, Nic was off form, sharing with the scribe too many excuses (all beyond his control) to list in this short report.

The entire team pitched up to support and was greatly appreciated; Karel and Gary played a friendly and George drank.  Replenishing the salts lost in his 60km run (7hrs 5 mins, well done) at the weekend. Not much, only a six pack, because he did not want to bend his brand new C180 Merc.

The team left for Doppio Zero bumping into our sister team but missed the kitchen cut off so all went home hungry.

Squash Tip of the Week

When lobbing make sure the balls trajectory is over the opponent on its way back from the front wall.

#1: Nic vs. Kyle, 3-0: 5-15, 8-15, 5-15

#2: Paul vs. Greg snr, 3-2: 15-9, 15-9, 10-15, 13-15, 15-12

#3: Stephan vs. Ruffy: 1-3: 15-11, 17-15, 15-10, 15-10

#4: Mike vs. Greg jnr: 3-1: 16-14, 15-12, 9-15, 15-7

Erratum

MVP is not Most Valuable player but Mainly Vain Plonke

Match score: 7 - 11

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7th B League vs. Jeppe

Pete F two love up against grand dad, but then looses the third 19-21. Wins the fourth.

Simultaneously Dave wins an even encounter 3-2.

Next Graham is two love up and Pete L at 1-1.  So games are 9-4 in Chamber’s favour.

Jeppe takes the next 5, over to the points count out.  Jeppe wins by twelve and abandons us.

Match result : 9 - 11

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9th LEAGUE vs Old Eds

Easy win

Gabriel 3-1

Vince 3-0

Stratford 3-0

Sean 3-2

Match result : 16 - 3

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10th LEAGUE vs Wits

10th League played Wits at Wits on Wednesday last the 6^th April.

Final score Wits won 13-6

1. First up was Paddy playing No. 2 against  Nathan a young whippersnapper who even kept running between games.  Paddy hardly saw the ball in the first game and went down 15-5, had more difficulty recognising it in the second, going down again 15-11 but made a startling short lived come-back in the 3^rd and 4^th winning both games. The 5^th was a foregone conclusion with Nathan changing gear and cruising to a 15-11 win. Overall result 3 – 2 for Wits.
2. Next up was Keith playing David in No. 1 position.  Unfortunately despite trying hard Keith was no match for their No. 1 and went down in the first two games but pulled a rabbit out of the hat to take the third game 19-17 after a ding dong battle.  Wits again put the boot in and took the fourth game 15-8.  Overall result 3-1 for Wits.
3. Next was the star of the night Des Crossman playing No.3 against Tremayne. After a comfortable win in the first Des goes down in the second to an embarrassing loss  15-9. Getting really worked up Des determined to put on a good show for his wife and took the next two games comfortably 15-12 and 15-9.  Overall result a win for Chambers 3-1.
4. Last up was John playing Harry in No. 4.  This was not even a competition as Harry should have been their No. 1 but was on sick leave with a sore on his elbow.  John never even got going and was lucky to even score the ( few) points he did. Overall result win for Wits 3-0.

All the breast

John F

Final result : 6 - 13

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10th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

We last night completed the league match against Edenvale (ED07) that commenced last week (23^rd March) which had to be aborted due to a power failure at the club.

No 1 - Paddy was never in the game at all and was soundly beaten 0/3.

No 2 – Des played the sly lawyer, Leon, and I’m very pleased to say that he didn’t start in his usual casual fashion but rather got stuck in and whipped the lawman 3/0 with some powerful squash.

No 3 – John, who filled in for an off-colour Johan, surprised himself more than us by snatching a win in the fifth, 15-13 to take the match 3/2. Note – this was at NUMBER 3! John stated at the beginning of the season that he was going to “give finger” to those sharp arses on the Committee who last year named him “kakest player of the decade”. This super-human effort last night was the start of his “finger” to them. Watch this space for more!

N0 4 – Bob, in true captain style playing brilliant squash, blew away his nervous opponent to win comfortably 3/0.

Good win for us – 12-5.

We lie second in the log having already had our bye although some teams still have to enter results but nevertheless two wins from two matches so far.

Final result : 12 - 5

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Match Reports March 14th - 16th

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE vs CCJ

Close match

Heather lost 0-3

Fefi lost 1-3

Audrey lost 2-3

Julie won 3-0

Overall result : 6 - 12

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs Old Eds

Jenny won 3-1

Josephine lost 0-3

Pat won 3-0

Lynda won 3-0

Overall result: 12 - 4

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 Ladies 4th LEAGUE 03 vs Edenvale

No result

Overall result:

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1st  LEAGUE vs BYE

Match Result:

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2nd LEAGUE vs Wits

I wasn’t there, don’t know what happened, here are the results:

1)      Mwansa 3-0 (too easy!)

2)      Mike 2-3 (from 2-0 match point up, lost the 3^rd 21-19!)

3)      Willem 3-1 (first match of the year for Willem, so a good start)

4)      Doug 1-3 (started strong, won the first, narrowly lost the 2^nd, but couldn’t finish)

 Match result : 11 - 7

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4th League  vs CCJ

Ryan played Darryl, all close games, managed to close out a very competitive match in 4 games, Won 3-1

Vevek played Philip – First two games were close, won the next two very easily, won 3 -1

Flip played Gordon Ashby, Flip started slowly and went up 2-1 before his very skillful opponent won in 5, lost 2 -3

Dave played Gavin, too crafty for the youngster, won easily 3 - 0

Match result : 14 – 5

5th^th League  “the G Team” vs Dainfern

The mighty “G” team took on the ladies from Dainfern

G-spot on first played Andre (a runner of note) won eventually at No 2,  3-2.

Tiny G flattered again won the 1^st went down 3-1 at No 4 (played another runner of note – a youngster who regularly did the splits to get the ball back and being nicknamed Mr Bean by Tiny)

Our reserve -FurG - took on Lucy at No 3 and won the 1^st at a canter. FurG relaxed though and Lucy won a close 2^nd. Order restored in the 3^rd and then a titanic 4^th which the lady took  narrowly. FurG’s legs gave up in the 5^th so a 3-2 loss.

LG then took on the ringer Sharon who normally plays 3^rd lge but because she was flying back from the Argus swopped to play 5^th. Those of you who know Sharon, know she is the fittest lady in South Africa, but having done the Argus maybe she would be tired. Unfortunately LG had also done the Argus and even putting in a valiant effort went down 3-0.

So an overall win for the Dainfern ladies.

Match result : 6 - 14

6th League A vs Modderfontein

First up Gavin G, started in usual fashion, taking the first in great style. Lost the second in equally good style, then sneaked in on the next two tightly contested games against Arne who was out of legs. 3 -1.

Gerhard went to 5 against Mike after a lapse in concentration and looked in danger of losing his grip on the match, but bounced back with a vengeance losing only 7 points in the last two games. 3 - 2.

Jacques revelled in fourth position crushing his opponent 3 - 0. Says he likes it there.

Stuart had the last laugh after Vaughn completely overestimated the extent of Stuart's injury, paying dearly for his overly-confident pre-game glass of Chamber Chateau de Boxe. 3 - 0.

Match result : 16 - 3

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6th B League vs Old Eds

For the first real match of the season, we thought we were going to get our second walkover in a row. Their first player only arrived at 6:45. But no, somewhat foolishly we decided from the kindness dredged from deep within our (soon to be overworked) hearts to win the points the hard way. George had already finished his 7^th league game on the court next door having arranged to play early – the speculation is that this would afford him additional time to sponsor the bar. So it was against this cacophony that matters got under way.

On at number 2 was Nigel playing against Asaf. The court was hot and both players were full of running and the first two games were pretty even with a game to each player. Then one of the players legs ran out of steam with the other powering on. Unfortunately it was Asaf who had more pep on the night and closed out the last two games comfortably.

Next up, fresh from Argentina and champing at the bit, was Lyal playing Dennis. Having consumed the volumetric equivalent of Itaipu Dam in red wine on his trip, Lyal was a bit dubious as to the effect this would have had on his form. It certainly didn’t seem positive in the first game with Dennis taking an early lead. However, after his chats with Tony Leon (now SA ambassador to Argentina), Lyal must have recalled some inspirational words because he sent the ball around the court like a tango dancer over the Buenos Aires cobblestones. It was too much for Dennis and Lyal took the next three games.

Bruce playing at number 3 was up against Peter. Bruce was his usual clinical self and was looking to conserve energy for his comrades training run on the weekend so he finished it quickly in 3 games. In fact, the only reason that the game wasn’t all over in 15 minutes was that Peter was pulling some double-jointed, wrist twisting moves to get Bruce’s drives back. There is a possibility that Peter may get a spot on the Cirque du Soleil with his showpiece of acrobatic maneuvers. Luckily for Bruce, most of the returns were to centre court where he could finish things off.

Finally, at number 1 and with nicotine free lungs for the first time in yonks, Phil played Jeremy. The first game went the right way and sealed the win for us for the evening. Phil was looking good and hitting a fine length with some tight drops sprinkled in at opportune moments. However, he squandered his lead in a close second game which proved to be crucial. Phil’s lungs / legs weren’t the problem as he definitely had the advantage over his opponent who looked to be on the verge of a coronary and was using delaying tactics to get in huge gulping breaths. He was a tricky one though, was Jeremy and played some great length and tight shots of his own to win the next three games and leave a frustrated Phil ruing a couple of missed chances.     

So the evening honours went to us, but were contacted by Brennan from his skiing holiday in Switzerland with a less than enthused report from the slopes / hospital. Seems that staying upright on powder snow is not as simple as it’s made out to be. Attached photos bearing testament to this fact. Bruce contends that this incident must have happened off the slopes, perhaps after testing out the Swiss skills in fermentation

Match score: 10 - 7

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7th A League vs. Wits

No: 4 - George on first against the quiet and hard hitting Sanjay. An early game had been arranged so the games were almost over by the time I got there. The bit I saw included some fine touches by a confident and upbeat captain who had lost the first and was on a charge to the finish line. You have never seen arms lifted so high as he celebrated his victory or possibly the fact that the drinking and chatting could finally begin!!! (3-1) 13-15 15-13 15-11 15-12

No: 1 – Michael on the adjoining court against the vociferous and foul-mouthed yet ever-entertaining Roy. Once again I only saw some of the last game but Roy’s tight boasts were a step out of reach for our Michael. Michael’s one step at a time strategy is taking shape – for starters he brought his own takkies this time – no games last week – one game this week - maybe two games next week and then there’s no holding him back. (1-3) 15-10 9-15 15-11 15-7

No: 2 - Gary on against Mohamed and at 2 games down things were not looking good and pulling a calf muscle half way through the third didn’t help matters. Having limitations is good for finding a decent length and apparently Mohamed was disguising an injured rib better than my exaggerated limp and was struggling to breath. Result - a painful but most relieving victory as I did one for the team and now the fear of having George kick me in shins in order to focus any future games. (3-2) 15-17 12-15 15-7 15-13 15-13

No: 3 – After much anxious anticipation, Karel (our 7^th league virgin) up against Bongi and a ding-dong battle ensued. A tight match which saw a couple of dubious calls by the marker Roy – some beautifully disguised trickle boasts and ear-piercing screams from Bongi – some tight shots and good lengths by Karel till a lack of oxygen in his lungs led to risky shots, made for an entertaining match. It went down to the wire which could have gone either way. Not a bad first showing and no ego bruising. (2-3) 15-10 14-16 13-15 15-13 15-13

So we suffered our second drawn match and painfully endured a defeat by a few measly points (240-242). Motivational Quote: - “Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.”

Spare a thought for the loving couples that went to Doppios for a cosy meal as four teams descended upon them and testosterone downed out cupids dulcet tones.

“Ear-Ear”

   Gary

Match score:

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7th B League vs. UJ

Not a great start to the season……..played two lost one and won one by default…

Not much fun playing against the students as they play and leave straight after……..no cheers no nothing.

Anyway, up first is Pete le Roux against a chappie who hits the ball harder than Ryan Chegwidden and loses the first horribly. Pete settles down…slows the game down and drills his oppo 3 – 1.

On next is yours truly…plays poor squash and gets whipped 3 – 1 ……@$%&*!$

So all square

On next is a very relaxed Graham Vermaak (GV) against a fairly useful player…….but too many mistakes………loitering 2 metres behind the T and he got whipped 3 – 0.

Up next Dave Hamilton against default………….easy win 3 – 0

Points count out…we win by 21

Cheers

Digby

Match result : 9 - 7

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9th LEAGUE vs Bryanston

No report, but this was a cakewalk apparently. When Gabriel, Vince and Sean started to play amongst themselves to have a decent game, the Bryanston guys said cheers and please switch the lights off!!!

Match result : 16 - ?

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10th LEAGUE vs BYE

Final result :

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