11th LEAGUE vs Wits

Having given the Wits "A" team a thorough hiding two weeks ago we arrived at Wits expecting an easy night. Surprise, surprise! That internationally renowned seat of learning may graduate world-class doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc. but they have no idea how to grade squash teams. This "B" team would thump their "A" team.

Brian at No1 played first - easily taking the first two games (15/8 and 15/8) The young, fit student then made a come-back taking the next two games (5/15; 12/15). A very tired Brian in true Swieger's fashion and determination gave it everything and fortunately the young whipper-snapper lost his cool with himself and allowed Brian to take the fifth 15/12.

Bob (first match this season) played next at No3. The rust showed as he hardly saw the ball losing the first game 6/15. Took a deep breath and the second game 15/6, lost the third 11/15 but realised that the young student also had an immature squash mind and was starting to lose his cool so Bob used this to advantage and won the fourth game 15/13 and at 14 all in the fifth looked absolutely whacked but asked for a let (some might have given it - but it wasn't justified) at which the student really threw his toys out and gave Bob the set by smashing the ball in anger into the tin a few times. Result 17/15 to Bob!

Geoff at No3 was next up. Poor old Geoff, looked just that OLD! He never got going in the first losing 6/15. Made a better effort in the second but lost it 14/16 and faded badly in the third losing 12/15.

Des to play. I must mention here that the 11th League Disciplinary Committee is to review the Captain's report and it is highly likely that Des will be summoned to a hearing having totally disregarded his C-A-P-T-A-I-N's order to play at No3 and refused to play unless he played at No4. That is the C-A-P-T-A-I-N's position!!

Nevertheless, at 6/7 in games in Wits favour it was essential that Des won. He was also up against a determined young student and took the first two games 16/14 and 15/9. We thought it was al over but, wait, the kid struck back taking the next two games 11/15 and 11/15. I must say we were worried as Des was pretty tired and the kid hardly sweating! But, again, old head was too strong for the immature student mind and Des won the final game 15/9.

Result in games - Chamber 9 and Wits "B" 9 and points - Chamber 226 and Wits 230.

The three wins gave us a 12/9 win.

Final result : 12 - 9

10th LEAGUE vs Parkview

Unfortunately another bad night (against Parkview).

I arrived at Chambers about 6.55 to find Paul walking off court having lost 5 – 15, 11 – 15 and 9 – 15 to Michael

Next up was Johan Mare playing a whippersnapper (16 yrs old) and although he played well went down 8 – 15, 11 – 15, 15 – 10 and 11 – 15.

3^rd match on Roger against Mike with the result of 7 – 15, 12 – 15 and 6 – 15.

Finally it was Captain Not So Fantastic against Walther with the match going the same way as Paul and Roger. Score 8 – 15, 5 – 15 and 12 – 15.

Match result 1 – 16 so it’s thanks to Johan for saving the whitewash

Final result : 1 – 16

9th LEAGUE vs Alberton

Last week was Alberton 05 team away and this week it was Alberton 04 team at home. We’d seen the 04 team demolish their opponents when we played last week so were up for a tough couple of games. They made it after getting lost for a few turns and seeing some of the sights available north of Voortrekker Street.

No. 3 Lyal vs Lizel: Lyal was making weak excuses about having to leave early to entertain more important people so he got to go on first against Lizel sporting a pink skirt (Lizel sporting the skirt that is, not Lyal – although sometimes we wonder…). The first game of the evening was a marathon with Lyal obviously bedazzled by the pink skirt ‘cause he lost. Next game was close too, but went the right way despite some deviousness and general good play by the lady (Lizel the lady that is, not Lyal – although sometimes we wonder…). Having managed to concentrate on the game and not the opponent, Lyal kept on improving and won the next two to take the match.

No. 1 Brennan vs Harry: Playing at the same time as Lyal was Brennan on the other court. Unfortunately I was marking and missed this game because by all accounts it was something to behold. There have been shorter cricket test matches. Brennan has made a habit of playing five setters and this was no exception. If there ever was a classic squash game, this would be it with the advantage swinging first one way and then the other. After the third game Brennan was 1-2 down and managed to catch his breath for long enough to tell me that all was fine on the western front because he’d figured out his opp’s game plan. And so it would appear because he won the next two games and the match – not before taking both games to 15-13 though. So he emerged victorious after 1hr10mins while actually getting fewer points than his opponent. The intention is to let him stay on a winning streak, but aim more towards the less epic 3-0 wins.

No. 4 Steph vs Corne: Monday evening saw Steph pitch up for a game but then leave before getting court time because he’d packed his son’s shorts in his tog bag. Thankfully, this time he had full size pants for the outing. I was marking this game as well, but should have kept my distance. Gave a game point call against Steph in the first game and boy-o-boy was I in the poo. Marking aside, the first two games didn’t go well for Steph. He came back in the third though and his opponent looked to be tiring. Unfortunately not enough to let Steph take the match to five sets.

No. 2 Nigel vs William: I was keen to get back on form, but it’ll have to wait a little longer because the game was full of loose shots and lots of tin. Luckily my opponent was a smoker and allowed me to take the match in four games despite some frankly cr*p squash. Hopefully the quality improves from here on in.

All in all a good result against tough opponents followed by some decent grub at Lapa Fo (not to mention milkshakes – yes milkshakes – as ordered by certain un-named parties).

Summary

No. 1 Brennan won 3-2: 11-15, 16-14, 10-15, 15-13, 15-13

No. 2 Nigel won 3-1:15-13, 10-15, 15-13, 15-12

No. 3 Lyal won 3-1: 16-18, 16-14, 15-12, 15-12

No. 4 Steph lost 1-3: 8-15, 5-15, 17-15, 12-15

Final result :13 - 7

8th league “B” vs. Edenvale

The "poisonous pen" is back !! from yet another life threatening injury, however, more importantly, I brought……….besides pure skill……. “Divine intervention”……. just in time I might add.

We had played 3 and lost 3 ……..horribly.

The ‘ruffians’ from 8A were starting to pass comments which due to their very low IQ, are not worth mentioning……..you know when a team is running scared………

Just a tip to 8A………..”practise boyz or should it be girlz……..the dust up is scheduled for 22^nd April……..and one other thing…….don’t be late or come with an excuse that you can’t play or your foot is sore !!!!.

Anyway, up first is Dave Hamilton at a highly over rated number 2, who plays Steve Kobrin, and in true Hamilton style, what should have been a cake walk ends up been a closer call than what the scoreline suggests. Anyway 3 – ‘duck’ is a good start.

Up next is………Big G (Gavin Martin)… talking quite a good game…....but those bent and buckled legs have done far too much bowling…….no not ten pin bowling….cricket……and it has been noticeable, especially in the last few years that running around the court is not his top game, however, the ‘ol bullet had enough class and klapped his oppo. 3 – ‘duck’……well played Big G.

On next……….pure class and skill ………and lovely to watch. Went up against Edenvale’s best player, but we had the same idea, we put our best player at 3……no need to mention who it is.

Klapped Clinton 3 – 1.

By this time we have scored more points than in our previous 3 matches put together.

On last is our so called “stand in’ cappy Graham Vermaak (GV) at No. 1. Up against Terry Lawrenson who proceeds to dish out a squash lesson in the first game on how to play the forehand drive. Just to make sure Terry keeps in the forehand groove GV gives him 9 other chances to demonstrate his prowess in killing it off, which he happily accepts. 1^st game needless to say, GV got a hiding.

Well now……..divine intervention together with a pulled calf muscle meant Terry just lost the 2^nd. Now the rest should have been a formality……..but not for our man GV ……who proceeds to play “tight down the middle” and somehow loses the 3^rd. Some more divine intervention needed and the calf muscle finally becomes unbearable, GV just pips the 4^th and gets a walkover in the 5^th.

Match result : 16 - 3

8th League “A” vs. Pirates

This is a sad neck of the woods. Located in the middle of nowhere with dirty, run down courts with ceiling boards missing and semi lit showers that hardly work. But their side is strong and will take some beating this year. They cleaned up the snotsniverlers two weeks ago and we were no different.

At no 1 Bruce B put up a good struggle but faded 1 -- 3.

Likewise Paul Fallon at no 3. Went down 2 -- 3.

George at No 4 embarrassed himself and dragged our name through the mud, losing 3 zip to Piet who we've regularly whipped over the years.

Then came man of the match Mark V N at # 2 with an excellent game, winning 3 -- 2 from 2 down.

So overall 6 -- 14 down and back to the drawing board.

Match score: 6 - 14