So some of the regular players were threatening to arrive inebriated for the league game if they were drafted in this week because of staff functions and other such rubbish. I had to look beyond the stalwarts to our set of competent-but-scarce reserves. Unfortunately they were busy too, so I had to draft in the two Phils – messrs Piper and Norton – to fill the gap. We were up against our arch-nemesis, Parkview and it was imperative that we crush and humiliate them (as is written in the Maoist handbook).
No 2. Phil N vs Paul: Mr Norton had been away for 2 weeks in Windhoek eating bratwurst and sauerkraut and then a further week in CT sampling the sweet nectars of the Cape wine farms. Surely he wouldn’t let this affect his game??? As sure as Zimbabwe is a global economic powerhouse… Phil didn’t look his usual self and very generously played numerous shots to mid court for his opponent to practice his drops and drives. There was a brief resistance in the second game, but not enough to guarantee victory. Phil lost 1-3.
No. 1 Tom vs ???: Tom had to put in a good performance because his coach was watching the game i.e. a loss would mean court sprints in the next training session. On top of this, Tom took a leaf from Manie’s book and brought a spectator of the female persuasion. Suddenly the drives, boasts and drops were leaving his opponent shaking his head as Tom made short work of him. There was also a test to study for so Tom finished off and went to study Forensic Medicine. Good to know if there’s ever a situation with blood spatter. Tom won 3-0.
No. 3 Nigel vs Brian: If only I could have followed on from Tom’s lead. First game was easy 9-0, thought it would be a cake walk. Not so much. Lost the next one and was 7-2 down in the third before I smelt the coffee. Luckily my opposite number was slightly less fit than Jimmy Abbott and I could come back to take that game and the next. Not pretty, but I’ll take the win. Nigel won 3-1.
No. 4 Phil vs. Danielle: First time Phil played for us this season and he tore things up. He frustrated Dani by getting her back and then dropping a half inch above the tin. From there on in, her tantrums didn’t help and Phil easily took the match. So, despite a malfunctioning back Phil won 3-0.
Final result 13-4
