10th LEAGUE vs Parkview

So some of the regular players were threatening to arrive inebriated for the league game if they were drafted in this week because of staff functions and other such rubbish. I had to look beyond the stalwarts to our set of competent-but-scarce reserves. Unfortunately they were busy too, so I had to draft in the two Phils – messrs Piper and Norton – to fill the gap. We were up against our arch-nemesis, Parkview and it was imperative that we crush and humiliate them (as is written in the Maoist handbook).

No 2. Phil N vs Paul: Mr Norton had been away for 2 weeks in Windhoek eating bratwurst and sauerkraut and then a further week in CT sampling the sweet nectars of the Cape wine farms. Surely he wouldn’t let this affect his game??? As sure as Zimbabwe is a global economic powerhouse… Phil didn’t look his usual self and very generously played numerous shots to mid court for his opponent to practice his drops and drives. There was a brief resistance in the second game, but not enough to guarantee victory. Phil lost 1-3.

No. 1 Tom vs ???: Tom had to put in a good performance because his coach was watching the game i.e. a loss would mean court sprints in the next training session. On top of this, Tom took a leaf from Manie’s book and brought a spectator of the female persuasion. Suddenly the drives, boasts and drops were leaving his opponent shaking his head as Tom made short work of him. There was also a test to study for so Tom finished off and went to study Forensic Medicine. Good to know if there’s ever a situation with blood spatter. Tom won 3-0.

No. 3 Nigel vs Brian: If only I could have followed on from Tom’s lead. First game was easy 9-0, thought it would be a cake walk. Not so much. Lost the next one and was 7-2 down in the third before I smelt the coffee. Luckily my opposite number was slightly less fit than Jimmy Abbott and I could come back to take that game and the next. Not pretty, but I’ll take the win. Nigel won 3-1.

No. 4 Phil vs. Danielle: First time Phil played for us this season and he tore things up. He frustrated Dani by getting her back and then dropping a half inch above the tin. From there on in, her tantrums didn’t help and Phil easily took the match. So, despite a malfunctioning back Phil won 3-0.

Final result 13-4