6th League “A”(Awfully Good) vs Alberton

With some impressive forward thinking on the part of the Chairman, we decided to move our home game against Alberton to their courts in order to avoid the load shedding in Emmarentia. Two courts were booked and played on simultaneously. On court one was the injured John (please don’t ask him if he has walked into a door lately) and on court two was Gavin.

It seems that Alberton mixed up their line up because John couldn’t have taken more than 20 minutes to clean up surfer boy Clayton who looked more at home on the beach than a on a squash court with his bleach blonde hair and his “Rock Off” T-shirt and baggy shorts (3-0).

Gavin was facing sterner stuff on the outside court against an opponent with a double fisted backhand that would make George proud. Gavin was no where in the first game and half of the second game until he finally realised that his opponent was even more unfit than he was and that if he could just move him around he would prevail. This was eventually what transpired although Gavin did make a bit of a meal of it. (3-1).

Rich up next on the outside court against Piet, aka Captain Grumpy. If Piet couldn’t win the game fair and square he would do his best to chirp and comment throughout in the hope that someone would listen, perhaps even the marker. Pity his squash did not match his mouth as he succumbed in straight sets. (3-0)

Simultaneously was the titanic battle between Ron and Kevin in which a disgraceful performance by Ron cost his side two points and a clean sweep. Strangely Alberton’s best player by some way was playing at no 3. After the first five points, John remarked that Ron had this match sewn up, however John has been known to be wrong once or twice before! A see saw battle ensued punctuated by some brilliant squash from both players. The first four games were shared and in the final game Kevin quickly ran up a 8-4 lead. Clearly Kevin never wanted the match as he squandered at least half a dozen match points allowing Ron to slowly reach parity at 8 all. Then Ron got his chance when he moved to a 9-8 lead but then threw it away himself in a disgraceful fashion allowing Kevin to take the next two points and the match (2-3).

Final score 14-4.

Squash lesson no 21 – never predict the result of the match after just five points.