8th League vs. Edenvale

George goes on against Mark and wonders what’s going on in the first game. Then he decides he is feeling good and plays the cross court, double handed boast, featured in the world squash training manual, page 635 under miscellaneous and uses it to great effect. Next three games in the bag comfortably, only to be greeted with a “sorry no water in the showers”. What was needed is a set of pliers to turn the water on! Apparently Volvo’s don’t carry these spares, at least George’s car, but the tool kit out of a 23 year old Mazda came to the rescue and we all had hot showers.

Orrin, who was sporting a hangover and brought his mother for support beat Paul with a repetitive score line. Paul was up in the third and saved two match points but to no avail. Sad really, as if he had won at least one of the 9-7’s he would have won the rubber. He is looking for any other lefties in the club to help him with his drives down the wall once he has found the wall!

Nic removed his shirt and FNB tie, don’t know why ‘cos he played well below par and was thrashed. After match quote was “I was playing well but not winning any points”. An interesting remark that gets full marks for the latter half but zero marks for the former half. Really Nic we love the optimism.

Last match of the night was Mike who eased the first two games and drifted in the third, staring down the barrel at 3-8. For those that want to read further about the squash brilliance read on and those that do not, miss out the next paragraph.

Back to the game, 3-8; Gert serves from the right box tight into the back corner, receives a delicately balanced lob to the back hand right hand corner which stymies him and a dig type shot is attempted that falls way short of the front wall, game ball saved; 3-8. Mike serves a lofter from the right box, returned down the wall by Gert, the German, returned back down the wall but tighter, cross courted by Gert and Mike running at “Carl Lewis” speed picks up and drops it 1.1mm above the tin รก la Chegwidden style, 4-8. Mike serves down the middle, confuses Gert who recovers to play a weak shot down the middle, returned also tight down the middle, returned to the left court at a good length, driven down the wall by Mike, picked up by Gert and returned with interest but loose which allows Mike to perform one of his trademark backhand cross court “where did that come from” shots; 5-8. The gallery is stunned save a loan encouragement from whispering (can he?) George. Mike attempts a power serve that has the kilowatts of a 5 bar heater under load shedding, returned by Gert with a little more speed, volleyed by Mike, hit back by Gert and this went on for a while, then a good length shot had Gert climbing up the back wall which prompted Mike to drop at the front which was missed hopelessly and the war was not mentioned, 6-8. Could this come back continue, read on. A pretty plain serve is returned with a forehand cross court, which is pushed down the wall to a tremendous “Nick Matthew” length, scrambled back (egg style!) to the front right hand court, dropped cross court, picked up for another drop, then wacked cross court like Mike’s fellow squash playing Englishman, James Willstrop to win the rally, 7-8. The gallery is split, Chamber (jubilant and “can he keep it up”) supporters and Edenvale (extremely quiet and utterly amazed at the tenacity of such an old, grey haired, short legged man) supporters. Shades of “Amr Shabana” come to mind during this rally that was littered with tantalizing boasts, elusive lobs and smashing overheads from Mike with a suite of puny boasts, vague lobs and geekish overheads from Gert to bring the scores level, 8-8. Blow the gallery down and nearly Mike, the kraut (used in the most pleasant manner namely as one of surprise) called for one and yes Mike teased him into submission or rather played with him (not in the biblical sense!) and won with a gracefully positioned forehand half court volley, 9-8. Half the gallery went bananas with praise and adulation and made up for the other half that did not!

The barrel was long at 3-8 down but Mike missed all the bullets and won 9-8. Unfortunately the team lost by one game going down 9-6 but not a bad effort against the league leaders.

Squash Tip.

“Always watch the ball and it is no good playing well if you are not winning points” a Nic quote

Paul vs. Orrin, 0-3: 7-9, 7-9, 7-9

Nic vs. Barry, 0-3: 5-9, 6-9, 2-9

George vs. Mark: 3-1: 5-9, 9-7, 9-4, 9-4

Mike vs. Gert: 3-0: 9-2, 9-3, 9-8

Match score: 5 - 16