7th A League vs. UJ

Having heard all the various stories about playing away against UJ, we entered their parched and barren land wondering if we could survive without a drink or a social chow-down (ultimately the reason why we all play squash) which is like satisfying the munchies after having fueled your addiction.
As fate would have it, we had the same team as last week when we relegated the No: 2 on the log to No: 6 and now UJ are the incumbent No: 2’s.
Would history repeat itself - could we write our names in the history books as “The No: 2 Slayers”? Or not?! Read on at your peril should you wish to hear our woeful tale…?

Wasn’t all that crazy about the claustrophobic orange hued courts where I had to clear the floor before play started – 5 x wine gums, 1 x smartie, 1 x pen nib, 1 x pen barrel, 1 x used tissue and 1 x chewing gum stuck to the floor. Tut-tut!

No: 2 - Gary on against Dehan, a strong strapping youngster who hit the ball sooooo hard and deep and I was intimidated, shaken and unable to hit the ball and I lost the warm-up, needless to say, I went down in the match itself with a bit of a fight in the third but ultimately I was completely outclassed. Bad news is that my winning streak has ended. Good news was that he bought me a drink and called me “Sir” – don’t you just love the well mannered youth? (0-3)

No: 4 - George on the adjacent court against Tyler and my understanding was that it wasn’t even a contended match – over and done with in a flash and George didn’t even manage to develop a proper thirst. Plucking a feather out of Peacock’s cap, George is sitting on a 4 match winning streak, a 92% game win ratio and a 4.75 Chamber points average. All yea pretenders to the throne beware! The gauntlet has been thrown down with some posturing to back it. (3-0)

No: 3 - Karel up against someone I thought at first to be a bumbling idiot, but it was possibly his game plan. James retrieved everything and Karel had to keep the game very tight to remain in contention. It went to the wire and a final crosscourt into the nick sealed Karel’s fate. James was a complex character - showing great sportsmanship by granting a let not given by the ref – but also hitting his leg with his racquet when he made a mistake, not a gentle tap but a great big whack leaving many red glowing welts – very strange! (2-3)

No: 1 - Paul on against Grant and yet another strong contender who would retrieve all that Paul could throw at him and still come back with some masterful squash of his own. Paul threatened at one stage and even managed to tire him but Grant was too good, too strong, too tight and playing two leagues below his potential. UJ does not have any leagues between 7th and 3rd which would explain their strength up front. (0-3)

Whipped and feeling down we made our way to Picobella in Melville where we commiserated, complimented each other for our meagre achievements and conspired to unleash (read “sacrifice”) our benched players on(read “to”) them on the return leg – more to preserve our egos and personal points than an effective game plan I hate to admit. But first, we have to meet the undisputed, undefeated log leaders from the east who will hopefully have gorged themselves on bunny eggs and grog and cannot rise to the occasion. Happy Easter/Pesach one and all!

Motivational Quote: - “Failure is only a fact when you give up. Everyone gets knocked down, the question is: Will you get back up?”


Match score: 5 - 12