Match Reports April 11th-13th

Ladies 3rd LEAGUE vs Pirates

The ladies were in fine form away to Pirates and soar into 2nd in the league.

Julie on first and was pretty clinical in dishing it out 3-0 to an energetic but underpowered opponent.

Next was Audrey who had a good game but was made to work for it –  3 zip.

Followed up by Heather against an 8 hour comrades champion. Really provided great entertainment and they slogged it out to 2 all. The last game see sawed until a cut service gave Pirates the match 16 -14.

Last on was ex club champ Joanne making her comeback after having added more to the population. Played well and cleaned it up 3-0.

So a good overall 14- 3 result.

Good chicken supper went down well in the clubhouse as we discussed a bit of knitting.

3rd Lge Scribe - George

Overall result : 14 - 3

Ladies 4th LEAGUE 02 vs UJ

Could have gone either way.

Jenny won 3-0
Josephine lost 0-3
Pat lost 2-3
Lynda lost 2-3 (17-15th in the 5th)

Overall result: 7 - 12

 Ladies 4th LEAGUE 03 vs Edenvale

No result

Overall result:

1st  LEAGUE vs Randburg

Another great win and that’s 4 out of 4 for the “All Blacks”

Kelvin won 3-1
Francesco lost 1-3
Mwansa won 3-0
Stan won 3-1

Match Result: 13 - 5


2nd LEAGUE vs UJ

We played a very strong UJ side last night, they’re winning the league so far.
Jeff played first and although he got to double figures in all the games, never looked like he was in the match.
Doug played next, and became the hero, managing to win a game.
Gary played Mark, got close in the first 2 games, but also not really in the game.
Willem “Stuff you I am strong” played last, also came close in the first 2 games, but was outplayed by someone a lot younger than him.

1)      Willem 0-3
2)      Jeff 0-3
3)      Gary 0-3
4)      Doug 1-3

Result: 1-16 (Owch!)

 Match result : 1 - 16


4th League  vs Old Eds

Ryan went on first and played Dikana Mtombeli . Made too many mistakes against a very fit opponent who hit the ball extremely well, went down 3 – 1.

Flip went on next against a youngster who was too good, tried to make a game of it but had no answer, went down 3 – 0

Vevek and Dave went on the same time and each needed to win 3-0, Dave played Marios Corridaris and won fairly easily 3-0, should move up the order based on current form.

Vevek struggled against a determined Glen Lazarus winning eventually in 5 games.

Two matches each, lost by 1 game.

1)      Ryan 1-3
2)      Vevek 3-2
3)      Flip 0-3
4)      Dave 3 -0

Match result : 7 - 10

5thth League  “the G Team” vs Wanderers

TinyG cried off with the dreaded lurgy so our reliable reserve FurG filled in. Unfortunately he looked a bit rusty on the day and lost 3-0, a close 3rd but no cigar.

LG then took on an old wily, very consistent campaigner, Mike Sissisons.  After dominating the 1st game, LG managed to lose the last 6 points in a row. The 2nd game was similar and towards the end a similar run of winning points left LG 2-0 down. The third was taken narrowly by LG but expending a lot of energy as the ball kept coming back and back and back. No energy in the 5th saw a 3-1 loss. LG……. life’s not good.

With Wanderers deserted apart from our teams, G-string and G-spot then went on simultaneously both having to win 3-0. G-spot found the spot immediately and demolished his opponent with a clinical display of tight shots and timeous lobs and drops – ringer was the call after the match from the oppo who hadn’t lost this season.

Unfortunately G-string couldn’t repeat this and went down 1-3 against Dino (this, a man who used to have the best job in the world – beer taster for a brewery)

A very pleasant meal followed at the Warriors pub in the main club-house.

Match result : 5 - 12

6th League A vs Old Eds

We imported a "big gun" Gerhard Botha to bolster the attack against Old Eds, however without the benefit of his regular Saturday run, Gerhard went down 3 - 2 in a hard fought match against Jason.

Louis had his first league match (ever) against wiley and streetsmart Rael (not the ideal first league match opponent), and a mixture of overly good manners from Louis and expert gamesmanship from Rael contributed to Louis going down 0 - 3.

Jacques had a cage-fight with John, a combined 200+ kg's of sweating/lunging/diving stubborness that saw Jacques triumph 3 - 2.

Needing a 3 - 0 win to get to a points count, Gavin had a tough battle against Tony who ran everything down and played good squash on top of it.

Highlight of the night was the presence of Louis' dad Hendrik (who you all know), sidelined in a tough battle with cancer. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family Hendrik, and we wish you a speedy recovery!

Overall result 3-1 down

Match result : 6 - 14


6th League vs Southern Suburbs

Except for Bruce we were all kak again. Bruce is no longer playing at 3, Comrades prep or no Comrades prep.

1. Mark lost 3-0
2. Phil lost 3-2 (really REALLY threw it away)
3. Bruce won 3-0
4. Lyal lost 3-0 (to his granddad)

So Southerns took it by some margin. Only 5 points for us.

Match score: 5 - 12


7th League vs. Edenvale

Playing against the current number 2 on the log and wanting to break free of the curse of any further drawn matches, the intrepid 4 entered our home court with a sense of determination. The super sevens (Teams 7A & 7B) promptly laid claim to courts 1 & 2 and relegated the upper leagues to the back courts - which George claims are better because they are closer to the bar.

No: 4 - George feeling the pressure of defending a 100% personal winning record - on first against the sweet-stroking Gert. Once the nerves had settled a battle ensued and George put his nose in front and took the tie-break to win the first. I think the pressure got worse as the next nerve-wracking game went to 17-15 and then George sniffed victory and took it home winning the third. Nothing quite beats George celebrating a victory – hands raised high. Well done captain – now the pressure gets more intense. (3-0) 16-14, 17-15, 15-12

No: 1 - Paul reclaiming his honour and position as the team’s number one - on against wily Mike and Paul struggled to find a decent length which left him stuck behind his opponent unable to get to the ball. Started to find form in the second but the thin and tall Mike made himself very large on the centre T and Paul went down, but as a long distance runner – he was not out of this race. Putting all the pieces together he suddenly had Mike at full stretch trying to dig the ball out the corners and our resilient Paul was back in the game winning the next two. The decider was tight and the odd dubious call didn’t help matters and he had to settle for silver. He lost the game but Mike was stuffed!  (2-3) 13-15, 12-15, 15-5, 15-11, 12-15

No: 2 - Gary sporting two good legs on against Peter and it felt like a one-sided affair – brief, not much emotion, did the business and left the court feeling relatively unfulfilled but victorious. Helena tried to spur me on to win the last game 15-0 but I failed. At least I walked of the court and didn’t have to limp. (3-0) 15-7, 15-5, 15-5

No: 3 - Karel finally gets to play against a man this being men’s league-and-all. Started the game by watching the beauty of his shots and forgot that Jeremy was actually there to retrieve the ball and when he did - Karel was out of position - so he lost the first! A gentle reminder that he needs to move was all that Karel needed and won the next three with relative ease with a minor heart-attack towards the end. He swears the ball was still not warm enough from the previous games and was dying in the drops or maybe it’s just the Chamber winter approaching. (3-1) 10-15, 15-11, 15-7, 15-13

A sociable evening at our very own Doppio Zero was enjoyed by a whole clan of Exiles and opposition – has anybody thought to ask for a squash club discount given our unwavering support?

Useless Info:
In Italy, flour is classified either as 1, 0, or 00, and refers to how finely ground the flour is and how much of the bran and germ have been removed. Doppio Zero (meaning double zero) is the most highly refined and is talcum-powder soft which results in the good grub. I bet you guys all thought that it referred to the double dots on the squash ball!

"Victory isn't defined by wins or losses. It is defined by effort. If you can truthfully say, 'I did the best I could, I gave everything I had,' then you're a winner."



Match score: 14 - 4


7th B League vs. Southern Suburbs

I thought times were tough………….obviously not……….because our so-called friendly lawyer……….who picks up the phone with the following messageDescription: Description: Description: Description: Description: Description: 26022011038.jpg
“R10 000 a minute George Bowen speaking” has just purchased a Benz………….and PAID CASH from the “petty cash tin” I might add………… However, at least the club coffers will be healthy in future as the advertising committee has increased the advertising fees…………and George thought that the number on his board is a telephone number  !!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway nice to see someone MAKING MONEY !!!!
On to squash……..pipped at the post…………………….AGAIN (3rd time)
Pete le Roux started and lost the 1st 1 – 15………..well played Pete……a bit of advice from the ‘ol hands and took the next 3 games comfortably.
On next the ‘sports reporter’ ………whipped his oppo 3 duck comfortably.
This is easy……..
Not quite…………cappy Fillmore played OK but went down 1 – 3.
Our man GV…….leave it to me……….got whipped 3 duck.
So we lost on points.
On to Doppio for the usual good stuff…..and a drink with George and half of Chamber Exiles – very lekker !!!

Match result 7 - 9

Match result 7 - 9


9th LEAGUE vs Edenvale

No report. They lost 4-0 but it must have been closer than the result

Vince lost 2-3
Stratford lost 1-3
Sean lost 2-3 (15-13 in 5th)
Roger lost 2-3 (16-14 in 5th)

Match result : 7 - 16


10th LEAGUE vs UJ

Played at Chamber vs UJ

The mighty 10th took on the league leaders at this stage , University of Johannesburg at home.

First on was Bob to lead the way, playing at No 4. The young B.Comm student won the toss and served – BANG, a winner for Bob. Hand out, 1/0; Bob then served about 10 aces that had the student stumbling in the back corners. The three or four serves he did manage to return were very quickly killed off and Bob, without even raising a sweat, was a game up – 15/zip. Be a while before we see that result in a league game again! The second went pretty much the same way although Bob did make a few mistakes but won comfortably, 15/4 and an easy third game win - 15/2. Nice start for the team.

Next up was Des at No 3. Also playing a very fit looking student, started in his usual casual fashion and went down 10/15. Again, as is usual for Des, he then remembered he was playing a serious league match and got his mind right and swung into action easily taking the next three games 15/4; 15/6 and 15/10. Team two up with two to go.

Johan on at No 2. Playing another strong, fit student had his time cut out and put up a good fight in the first but was a touch unlucky to lose 13/15. Johan looked very tired at this stage but went back and bravely gave his all but succumbed 9/15 in the second and was 11/8 up at a point in the third but ran dry and lost it 11/15.

Never mind, out intrepid No 1, Brian, was back from leave (two weeks on the KZN south coast, where his only exercise was turning the ‘wors on the braai and lifting a bottle to his lips) but we have faith in him. His opponent was yet another strong, good-looking, rugby playing youngster who was being spurred on by his, ahem, gorgeous American girlfriend who was distracting the scorer! Brian did struggle to move his considerably engorged belly around the court and lost the first game 10/15. True grit flowed in the second and “the belly” took it 15/9. Now we thought our man was back into it but alas! The American girlfriend’s spurring got the boy with the film star looks back on track and he took the third 15/10. But, never fear, “the belly” rallied and took the fourth game 15/6. Bingo. We thought it was going to be straight through but unfortunately the holiday finally took its toll and Brian meekly gave the fifth away – 4/15.

Narrow win – 8 games to 7 but UJ are still the league leaders (although they have played 5 to our 4 matches) but we got the win.

RESULT – WON – 10/7



Final result : 10 - 7