6th League B vs Wits

During the second half of the league, our squash has taken an exponential turn in terms of results. Unfortunately it’s an inverse exponential trend and we’ve hit rock bottom and started digging. If I have to write many more of these reports, I’m going to have to go on lithium.

Phil was recovering from some infection that he picked up at OppiKoppi. Apparently it wasn’t that kind of infection. He seemed to cruise through the first game on auto-pilot winning points at will against Anthony. And then… Anthony, being the fogey that he is, tightened his game and got his length right with the rest of the match being hard fought, but Phil never getting far enough ahead to close things out. Lost 1-3.

Bruce up next against Janice, the Parkview pin-up player of the year that had set our 6th league colleagues thoughts spinning to the extent that they included a photo of her in the match report. Not to disappoint, I have done the same to illustrate what all the fuss is about. She is a model after all. Bruce has proudly admitted to being whipped (so to speak) by the lass, but did mention that he thought the extremely short skirt she was sporting gave her a massive and unfair advantage. Lost 0-3.

Then Lyal against Bongi – a game which started with Lyal storming to a 2 zip lead with thoughts already on the icy lagers waiting after the game. Then Parkview went into a huddle, strategizing on a game plan. They take their squash seriously, these Parkviewtonians. Some Most might say too seriously. Whatever the case, the strategy paid dividends and Bongi came back to sneak victory after some entertaining rallies. Lost 2-3.

Last on, I was up against that pillar of moral value, that bastion of fair play – Graeme. I had narrowly beaten him in the first round although the majority of the game was spent in heated debate with the marker. This time around it was also a tight game, but too many squandered points saw me unable to take advantage of his lack of fitness. Another loss 1-3.

The outcome of this was a third dismal 16 pointer. The relegation zone is calling us – hopefully to be avoided with a late season surge…

Overall result: Lost 4 - 16