5th League “the G Team” vs Pirates

Chris won 3-2
John won 3-2
Duncan lost 2-3
Gavin lost 2-3

Lost by 9 points

This was the match report written by the opposition. It will have to be nominated for the SCROTY award at the end of the season.

Hi Rats Squashers,

  1. “Giant Killers”

Big effort last night from the men of Rats 5th league to topple the previously high flying nerds from Chamber.  All matches went to 5, with the Fat Boy and yours truly both coming from 2 sets down in the final two rubbers to clinch a cliff hanger.  Big thing to come for the second half of the season!!

  1. Ginge Breaks Record!

Ginge broke his own long standing record last night for the most times the F-Word expletive has been shouted during a Gauteng Squash match.  He surpassed his previous best of 143 F-Words with a new benchmark of 168.  Ginge has vowed to push on and aim to be the first league player to break the magical 200 barrier. 

His effort last night included a staggering 62 F-Words in the final game alone, as well as an impressive match high 35 F-Words used in conjunction with the C-Word, and coupled with his 7 racquet throws made for a truly stand out performance.

  1. Don’t Mess with Buck

A bloodied Ant “Buck” Illings rocked up for a quiet beer last night on his rest night from playing.  Ant had apparently head-butted a fellow motorist in a violent bout of road rage after a night out with Big Ron during the week.  By the look a Ant’s still bloodied and battle scarred head, it was much more than a head-butt, and as yet the bashed in front of his car is still an unexplained mystery.  I guess every club has one (although with Ginge we have at least two in our team!)

  1. Ginge Stoops to a New Low

Imagine my surprise when I got out of the shower to find Ginge struggling to try and put on my jeans.  Battling to button up (because he has a fatter arse than me) Ginge was quickly trying to put on my jeans and duck to the pub before being caught.  It seems that his jeans were either misplaced or stolen and he was desperate to make another plan and not have to walk around in his underods for the rest of the night.  Big Ron you have been fingered as the likely thief of Ginge’s jeans from the change rooms so if I were you I would brace myself for a few nasty surprises next time you play. Stay tuned.....

  1. Earl Rose Award

The Earl Rose award for the worst player of the evening therefore goes to the thief who stole Ginge’s Jeans

  1. Stu Dickinson Award

The Stu Dickinson Award for worst ref go’s to........Ginge. And he didn’t even mark a game!!!

  1. Story of the evening

Golf with Mikey Schultz (from Ginge of course)

Thanks to John and the lads from Chamber.  It is always a good evening.

Have fun guys and next game only in August


Match result : 10 - 12